Being the Urban Koda

How to drink...

2011-10-28T21:41:00.002-06:00

So one of the things about leaving an uptight, fundamentalist type religion is that options open up.

Now I'm not into hard drug, orgies and stuff like that, but after a certain religious leader in my area, started being particularly douchey, I figured it was time to rebel a little.

Up until I was 34, the closest I had come to liquor was a drop of Archers Peach Schapps off my girlfriends finger back in high school.

Anyway, so my journey from good Mormon boy to the fun loving guy I am today, is a topic for another day, but for those who embark on a similar journey, I'd like to offer a wee bit of advice.

Just to be clear... I am a freak!

2011-10-27T11:49:00.002-06:00

It's happened a couple of times in the past month.

On one occasion, someone told me that it was good I hadn't attended a party the previous night, because it had gotten pretty wild.

On another, another friend joked about doing something to freak me out, and when I found out what it was, I was kinda bummed they hadn't.

The thing is, I am a bit of freak, and while I'm sure you don't want the explicit details (Or perhaps you do - Sorry!), perhaps I could share an example.

Lagoon Amusement park had a new horror house for their Frightmares this year. Night Walk was rated at 5 spiders on a scale of 1 to 5, where 5 is uber scary, and not suitable for kids.

It's based on Vampires, and not being a horror house person, I was a little leery.

And then we went inside...

In one room there are various bodies, and body parts strung from the roof. There is a doctor looking character covered in blood and guts, and a couple or gurneys. Upon one of the gurneys is a young lady, also covered in blood.

As I walk by her, she leans over and whispers, "Come play with me..."

OMFG! Talk about a turn on...

On a completely unrelated note, Mrs Koda isn't entirely comfortable with me going back through... THE NIGHT WALK!

Up Twenty Pounds

2011-10-24T07:46:00.002-06:00

It's official... I'm up 20 pounds since IronMan last year. That's like a pound a month.

Anyway, so in addition to getting back into the pool this week, I'm going to try out this new device...

And just in case anyone is still reading, this probably isn't safe for work, or kids - unless you have my boss, in which case, he'll probably laugh his head off, but all your co-workers will be offended.

A New Title

2011-10-18T18:49:00.002-06:00

So Orrin Hatch, the disrespectable sentator from Utah, invited his good buddy, Dallin Oaks to testify before Congress today. Which before I even begin, is a great way of proving that Mormon politicians aren't beholden to their religious puppet masters.

But moving on... Dallin sits before Congress and expounds the virtues of charitable giving in America, touting how it helps the poor, and the homeless.

This thing is...

Mr Oaks is exceptionally wealthy, likely pulling in more than half a million a year, in addition to book deals, paid food, clothing and housing, and all kinds of other religious benefits.

And let's not also forget the $3 billion plus mall, the wonderfully humanitarian minded Church he belongs to is building in down-town Salt Lake City.

Religion in America is generally not about charity, and helping the downtrodden and homeless. It's about enriching douche bags like Mr. Oaks who use fear of the unknown to trick good, and genuine people into paying into the corporate coffers.

I've called Mr. Oaks on his bullshit before, and today, I think we should add hypocrite to his list of illustrious titles as well.

Spot the Difference

2011-03-16T07:28:00.002-06:00

Folks, one of the "Signs of the Times" put forth by the Mormon faithful is the idea that an awful scourge will cover the face of the earth. This may actually be something common to other sects as well, but Mormons are the only ones I can speak authoritatively to.

Various ideas have been proffered as to what this scourge might be. When I was a kid, it was AIDS, and more recently I've heard it to be Homosexuality.

While I reject the whole signs of the times thing as a bunch of crap, designed only to instill fear in the faithful, and get them to cough up more money for church coffers, I do believe we face a scourge.

Extremist Religion, and I'm not just talking about Islamic Extremists either.

Considering comments which Glenn Beck made (or did not make, or did not, not make). I think it appropriate to make a little comparison.

Consider Glenn Beck the Osama Bin Ladin of the Christian Extremist movement.

Is there a difference, aside from language?

Consider the faithful Glenn Beck devotee, the little Jihadist of the movement.

9/11 happens, and Bin Ladin takes responsibility and talks about how it is a warning to infidels from Allah.

The horrendous Japanese earthquake happens, and Glenn claims responsibility for his God (or rather, doesn't not, not claim responsibility for his God), and talks about how it is a warning from God.

And all the little Beck Jihadists take to the internet, and in a manner similar to the Jihadist chanting death to the infidel, and burning the American Flag, they defend the ass hat that is Glenn Beck, and criticize any who might question his holiness.

Am I completely off base here?

Scarlet Fever?

2011-03-15T07:47:00.002-06:00

Have you ever know anyone with Scarlet Fever?

Well, raise your hand. I ended up getting it as a complication with a bout of strep I had last week.

It's an interesting thing. There was a point when I was seriously contemplating the fact that I could die - and in all actuality, I may have, had I not finally gone to see the doctor.

And after losing my faith in religion, God and in life after death, you might think that the prospect would be terrifying.

Surprisingly enough, I felt just fine about it. I was worried that I'd be leaving Mrs Koda in a pretty nasty situation, but as for me and death. I really didn't bother me that much.

Oh... And I'm just peachy now, thanks to a nice big shot of penicillin in my ass!

I am actually still alive

2011-02-20T19:20:00.003-07:00

Back when I was a Mormon missionary, I could tell how thing were going based on what happened with my letter writing on the portion of the day we were given off each week.

If things were going really well, then I'd usually have to write really big and double space the letter to my parents, just to fill up the aerogram. And the letter to my girlfriend would usually only be a page or two.

But when things were shitty. When they had me paired up with a psychotic nazi of a companion, when the weather was awful, and when the mission president had just come down on me again, because my parents had pull a dick move on my behalf...

I wrote a couple of aerograms to my parents, and the girlfriend would usually get a 12 to 20 page epic, double sided and full of all kinds of stuff.

Why do I bring this all up?

I switch jobs 3 weeks ago. It's been an extreme awakening when it comes to the field in which I am employed, and trying to learn everything has been a little like drinking from a firehose. BUT I LOOOOOOVE IT! It's nice to be busy, it's nice to be learning new things, and the obscene pay raise I got has allowed us to start paying down the debt accumlated through years of paying our tithing and working for the corporation which supports gods only true Church on earth. I'll spare you the pages of me bitching about how god really should have been helping us out, instead of continually shoving the large, splitery bamboo pole up our collective asses.

Anyway....

So with all of that good and great stuff happening, I'm afraid I've been slacking on the blog.

Hopefully I'll find a way to return to regular blogging soon. But until I do... Know that I am doing fabulously, and at least in my case, no news is good news.

Perhaps I should switch to producing a daily podcast, compiled during the 2 hours I commute to and from the new job...

The World Is Awesome!

2011-01-30T19:37:00.000-07:00

Double posted because it really is that AWESOME!

Happy New Week Everyone :-)

To My 'Tea Party' Friends

2011-01-26T07:21:00.002-07:00

The Tea Party is a loaded phrase. I actually agree with some of what the principles are behind the movement, except there seem to be 2 different views of what the Tea Party is, and it seems that the louder, more obnoxious members and de-facto leaders have missed the point.

From my point of view, it's about a couple of things:

Taxation without representation. Do my representatives represent my views? I would have to say no. They represent the needs of lobbyists and the corporations who fund their campaigns the most. What has pissed me off the most in the past couple of years, was the decision by the socialist, left leaning liberals on the Supreme Court, that corporations should have the same representation as individuals citizens... Oh no, wait... That was the right wing conservatives who did that.

Freedom. President Obama's Patriot Act, and warrantless wire tapping has really taken a chunk out of our rights to privacy. Hell, I can't even transfer money from my savings account to my checking account more than 4 times a month without violating some federal statute. Thank you Barack! Oh no... Wait a sec, that was Bush's doing.

Constitution. Everytime I hear a political candidate start preaching about how much they study the Constitution I want to puke. Because it's obvious they really haven't. Especially when they start off with talking about returning our Country to the state it was under the Founding Fathers. God Fearing Christians who wanted a place of freedom.

PEOPLE!!! GEORGE WASHINGTON WAS A DEIST!!! And so were a lot of the other founding fathers. They came here to escape religious Tyranny... The very kind you seem hell bent on trying to restore.

But I have a question... Assuming any of my readers claim to be Tea Party or Constitution loving Conservatives...

My son had to memorize the preamble to the Constitution last week, and some of the wording struck a chord with me...

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

"... provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare ..."

How can you claim to be a devotee of the Constitution, and yet glory in wars waged on foreign soil in support of corporate interests, and deny millions of Americans the opportunity to receive affordable heathcare?

The Iraq war has NOTHING to do with defending the United States, and if you really look at it, it may actually be putting us at more risk, both in terms of domestic terrorism, debt and dependence on foreign oil. Those tanks they drive around in aren't hybrids as far as I now.

And Health Care Reform? It's a socialist Nazi plot? Are you freakin' serious? It's about taking care of each other, which fits in perfectly with "Promoting General Welfare"

HELLO?!?

A Nazi Response

2011-01-24T15:30:00.002-07:00

Many years ago, during a conversation with my former mother, I made a comment, alluding to the fact that the Iraqi war, and the associated hatred towards Muslims orchestrated by George Bush, was a little Hitler'esqe.

In hindsight I should have said that, but... SHE WAS SOOOOO OFFENDED.

Funny thing is that now you have a self professed Rodeo Clown, spouting off about how everyone he disagrees with a Nazi or a reincarnated version of Hitler, and all those who were offended by inferences made by folks about Bush are suddenly nodding their heads, stroking the upper lips and chins and saying... "Yes, I can totally see that".

I think this commentary by Jon Stewart maybe the best thing I've heard on the matter. And in case my one conservative, Beck loving reader is still around... It's OK to watch, because he goes after a Democrat in the one ;-)

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Word Warcraft

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show Full Episodes

Political Humor & Satire Blog

The Daily Show on Facebook

Teenage Dirtbag

2011-01-21T04:47:00.000-07:00

I haven't heard this song forever... And yet it came to mind the other evening.

Enjoy.

Feeling the Love

2011-01-20T08:43:00.003-07:00

So after yesterday's post, I feel the need to be more positive today.

I haven't been in the office for well over a week - either working from home, on leave, public holiday or the weekend.

I returned to day and had a brief online messenger conversation with a co-worker.

Co-worker: it took two different cleaning crews to clean up the flowers and melted wax from the candles that burned at the memorial outside of your cube. if that doesn't make you feel missed, i don't know what will.
Me: lol!
Me: Thanks
Co-worker: there were also a couple of readings. i remember one entitled, Why Mike, Why? Actually, it might have been a haiku.

Change is scary, but at the same time, it's nice to know you're leaving a place having left a good impression.

Banging My Head!

2011-01-19T12:42:00.004-07:00

So, in case you haven't heard... I start a new job in just under 2 weeks. I've been feeling bad because my current team has an application due in the middle of March and they're way behind.

It's not for lack of trying though... With all the bureaucratic red tape you have to cut through to get anything done, the people wanting the new application have caused the delay themselves.

But I thought with the week and a half I have left, I could make a difference.

I should add at this point, that aside from no raises and sub market pay, I seriously spend more than half my time, sitting on my butt doing nothing. Which makes for good blogging time, but it's killing me. You'd think all the relaxation would be a good thing, but seriously it has the opposite effect. And it's not like I haven't asked repeatedly for more to do, but after doing it for so long, I think I've just become annoying, so I've spent most of my days surfing the net, blogging and screwing around on Facebook.

So here I am, anxious to help leave them in a good position, having given two weeks notice as a courtesy as well, and I get told this morning, that...

THEY DON'T WANT ME TO CODE ANYMORE!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Someone then asked me if I was sure I wanted to leave. I'm quite proud of the fact that I was very cordial and polite in my response!

Friday Flashback

2011-01-07T05:48:00.000-07:00

I heard this song the other night. I've been feeling crappy all week, and I was on the verge of sleep while driving back from the gym - although fortunately, I wasn't driving.

This song takes me back to my final year of high school - and particularly to a class trip to Christchurch, New Zealand to study tourism.

It was an interesting trip. For about the 4th or 5th year, I was away from home on my birthday, and I almost preferred it that way.

My girlfriend was in the process of trying to get me to dump her, but she was nice enough for the trip. Not nice enough for me to get a little action, but given her feelings - probably for the best.

This song brings back memories of walking down the streets in the cold, searching for dolphins on a boat ride, and visiting the Christchurch Cathedral.

Good times!

On My Mind

2011-01-06T08:46:00.001-07:00

I don't know exactly why, but this song was on my mind today. I think they'd be a fun group to see in concert.

Dying Inside

2011-01-04T09:18:00.003-07:00

I have the funniest blog post of all time...

But some of you know me, and a couple even know Mrs Koda.

And so it cannot be shared.

So instead, I shall share the following - Thanks to Marianne for the find, and the subsequent loss of productivity at work!

Oh - and Christians and those sensitive to certain language may be offended. Actually there is no may about it - It totally will!

There is also a clip of him on Mintys. I would post it here, but it's filthy, filthy, filthy! So if you have a filthy, filthy mind like me, perhaps you might enjoy looking for it. But I wouldn't recommend it.

Happy New Year

2011-01-03T08:28:00.002-07:00

Hey Everyone! Welcome back in 2011.

I have a couple of good post ideas I'm working on, but...

How about we enjoy the following in the mean time.

I watched Juno a month or so back, while Mrs Koda was out with a girlfriend. I suspect this may have been more of a chick flick, but I still enjoyed it - well, enjoyed, in the fact that it was well done, and got my emotions connected to the story.

Right Wing Intellect

2010-12-29T05:47:00.000-07:00

What If

2010-12-28T09:11:00.002-07:00

Thanks for the find TGIAA!

8 : The Mormon Proposition

2010-12-27T12:01:00.002-07:00

I watched 8 : The Mormon Proposition last night.

It's hard to put my reaction in words, but if I had to pin it down to one word, it would be...

ASHAMED

Ashamed that my name still counts as a member of that organization.

Ashamed for the hurt which has been done in the name of God.

Ashamed that I am not doing to more to ease suffering and help my fellow man.

Ashamed that last week, when I explained what the end of Don't Ask, Don't Tell was to a superior, and he actually said "I wouldn't want to share a tent with a fag." that I didn't have any words, and all I did was to turn and walk away, disgusted with him, and since, disgusted with myself.

I need to do more.

Fooka Dupe

2010-12-21T05:49:00.000-07:00

I came pretty close to dying last night. I was just sitting there, going through some Mr. Deity videos, and all of a sudden... 1 "fooka dupe" and an "as shoalie" later, I'm doubled over, gasping for air and seeing my life flash before my eyes - In other news, I'm trying extra hard to be nicer!

The context needs to be set before I can fully explain.

The season of Mr. Deity is the prequel to the whole deity scenario.

In this first scene, Mr. Deity is looking for qualified people to play major roles in his plan.

And then the second... Well, I'll let it stand by itself!

Xmas Feedings

2010-12-20T07:06:00.002-07:00

Decisions were made last night...

Well, one decision was made last night.

Xmas morning in the Koda house is usually a suger fest topped with chocolate and drizzled with all manner of other unhealthy and diabetes inducing treats.

A week or two back, me and the oldest boy were perusing the blogs of friends and we discovered a link to a previously posted recipe by the infamous Morgan Mouse.

Last night it was decided that we shall be putting together an Egg and Bacon Pie when the sun arises on the 25th.

The other decision... We started eating out for Christmas dinner a couple of years ago. We did 2 years at Famous Dave's BBQ and last year we tried Chillis.

The plan in recent weeks has been to go to Ruby River Steakhouse, but last night, the oldest boy suggested Cafe Rio. Cafe Rio isn't as nice or formal (and not even close to as expensive!) But it's good food and we can let the kids go ape with the menu, and it won't hurt as bad.

So we're still trying to decide which... It may come down to what we feel like on Christmas Eve.

On My Christmas List

2010-12-19T05:12:00.000-07:00

Or at least it would be if I still gave a damn about all the Mormons around me!

Human Nature

2010-12-18T06:11:00.000-07:00

I've noticed something interesting on Facebook. When I post something controversial, people who have either had a problem with my views in the past, or people who due to experience would have issues with my views react in a funny way.

They used to take me head on... If I can refute their arguments, they generally back down, or they resort to ridiculous hyperbole which may or may not include the use of Glenn Beckinisms. In the case of the latter, I'll usually give them the benefit of the doubt once, and if they keep it up, I usually just defriend them. Especially when they start using my wall to espouse what I deem to be crap!

Nowadays they do something different...

When I put something up which they disagree with, they'll generally find something else on my page to comment on. Like... "Nice profile pic!" or something generic and mundane.

Either they just have to say something and that is the best way to let it out, or they are trying to send a subtle message that they are still watching me. Hard to say which, and it could well be a combination of both.

The Dangers of Religion - Part 2

2010-12-17T05:30:00.000-07:00

That's right folks... There is more!

The Dangers of Religion

2010-12-16T05:28:00.000-07:00

Me and Great Literary Works

2010-12-15T05:21:00.000-07:00

So we've been reading "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens to our kids at night. The younger ones generally wonder off after a couple of pages, but last night we passed half way.

It's interesting to read, especially read out loud.

You know how I said that I felt I was married to Mrs. Krank last week, and how that was appropriate, because she seemed to be married to Mr. Krank. Well, I found a reference to me in "A Christmas Carol" last night.

It said something about a man with "Horny Hands".

I busted up, as did Mrs. Koda!

And it was only a rendition of Tiny Tim's, "Gawd bless us, Eeeeveryone!" by yours truly that changed the topic so we didn't have to explain it to the two oldest kids, neither of whom seemed to get the original joke.

There is Nothing I can Add

2010-12-14T05:00:00.000-07:00

Wait a Second!!!

2010-12-13T06:45:00.002-07:00

So I'm part of a group of Facebook. It's a private group, but if you want an invite, let me know.

One of the hardest things about leaving Mormonism, was wondering what was wrong with me. I was actually employed by the corporation which runs the religious activities of Mormonism at the time, and so there I was, surrounded by thousands and thousands of Mormons at work, at home and at church, and the question in my mind was...

How can they all be wrong, and what makes me so special to think that I can see it's all a sham?

That feeling of loneliness is perhaps the worst part of leaving.

Fortunately I found a couple of friends online, and as time has progressed I've made actually friends in real life as well - not that online friends aren't real, but...

Anyway, so the cool thing was learning that there are others out there. And that was the idea behind the group.

So today I perusing the posts from the past weekend, and I came across this...

And my first thought was... Hey... I know Sarah!

If you didn't watch the video, I'd recommend it. It's a good one!

The Greatest Action Story Ever Told

2010-12-10T03:37:00.000-07:00

Obscene and Tasteless

2010-12-09T06:05:00.002-07:00

I got sent one of those people of walmart emails. I have a friend who has been asking about moving to the US, and wanting to do so for higher values - so I thought I would send her a link - one of the reasons she wants to leave her current place of residence is that too many of the teenagers have mullets!

So I looked up People of Walmart, and found the original site.

I made the mistake of looking it up at work though, and it turns out that it is blocked by the nanny software my employer uses.

And the reason the software gave...

OBSCENE/TASTELESS

Ummm... Yeah!

A Bedtime Story

2010-12-08T11:32:00.003-07:00

I still really like President Obama, but... This story did make me think.

A Bedtime Story

So here is where I'm at, and if the more politically astute of my readers would like to comment and correct me if I'm wrong, I'd really appreciate it.

So we have America with a system of government, put in place to help maintain our freedom and prevent tyrants from taking over.

Tyrants have kind of taken over though, and thus we have wars being waged in the Middle East and a growing deficit.

I think President Obama genuinely wants to change things for the better, and with a majority in the house and senate, most of the American people wanted that as well.

We didn' get it, and there is a real problem no-one seems to recognize...

There is a class of people who have been duped - In my opinion.

Average, good intentioned, hard working Americans. These people have been told that there is a chance that one day, they might be in the top 1% and so they have a responsibility to protect those people.

They have also been told that these people are the reason America is great.

I have no doubt that many of the top 1% in America have gotten there through hard work, however, many have leverage others to help them get there as well.

Take for example, someone like... Bill Gates. Bill had a great idea, and then working with others created a great empire. Would he be that great if people hadn't helped him on that way, helped him market his product, purchased his product and that kind of thing? I used to support one of his products, and I had to pay his corporation for the privilege of doing so. Something stinks about that.

Without the American people, Bill Gates would be just another computer nerd. It's not that he owes us, but in a way he does. He owes his success to the American Dream, and along the way, he's leverage others to increase his fortune.

Are you following me here, or starting with the "Geez! Sounds like Koda is turning into a communist!"

Anyway, so there is this whole class of Americans who feel that it is their patriotic duty to protect the fortunes of people who have used them to amass that fortune.

OK... So here we have America, deeply in debt, struggling middle class and wealthy folks who some how seem to have made out like bandits from this whole recession thing.

A president gets elected and tried to change some stuff.

He runs into the GOP. The party of NO!

They're a minority, and yet they use the checks and balances in Washington to prevent any change. Change which will impact the wealthy 1%.

So here's my question about what happened earlier this week..

Faced with the choice between continuing to fight, and having people lose their unemployment benefits, and compromising and throwing a bone to the wealthy 1%, the president opted to compromise.

It was a choice between letting the GOP win, and letting the GOP win, and not screwing the average hardworking American over in the process.

Did he make the wrong decision - Absolutely!

But was the other option the right one, or was it even more wrong?

Was there a way the President could have won without conceding to the scum who are raping this country?

I'm not sure there was, making his wrong decision the right one in the end.

Of course I'd welcome your comments and thoughts.

Global Warming etc.

2010-12-08T04:42:00.001-07:00

3 Neighbors

2010-12-07T07:02:00.002-07:00

I've been a slacker getting my Christmas lights up this year. Mrs Koda likes Christmas, but she's not a big fan and me and Christmas lights together.

There is a peak on the front of our house which is about 20 feet up in the air. Combine that height with a husband who is terrified of heights, a rather springy ladder, and kids who like to pick the exact moment when he is at the top of the ladder, with eyes closed, praying to whatever deity he can not to fall down, to start fights, or fall down and injure themselves... And I can't say I blame her.

So needless to say, until Sunday, our lights were not up.

But the weather was reasonably good, and I was feeling festive, and so I decided to have a go at some of the lights.

I didn't get the peak lit up, but as I was atop the ladder on another section of roof, Church let out.

Oh - did I mention I didn't go? It's been over 6 months since I've been. And I really don't miss it.

Once Church is over, members descend on a neighbors house for choir practice. I was out as this was happening.

A couple of neighbors walked by, and it was fun to see their reactions.

First neighbor came by on our side of the street. Looked over at me and remarked... "You look like you're having fun!". It's his usual catch phrase. He seems like a great guy. His wife is the Relief Society President, and she reminds me too much of my mother, but he seems like a good guy.

His brother stayed with them for a while, when we first moved in. He was the only neighbor to come over and help during the move - the brother that is. And when our yard flooded, he came running over to help my distraught wife figure out how to shut the water off.

He doesn't look like a good Mormon. Long straggly hair and ear rings. And the nicest guy you could hope to meet.

The wife of our neighbor has since apologized for him. WHAT?!?

Anyway, so that was person number 1. Good reaction, humorous, and not too bad.

Next came the single mom from up the street. I used to teach her daughter in Sunday School.

You know how you can just tell when someone is trying not to look at you?

That was her... Looking incredibly uncomfortable and looking everywhere but at me.

She passed by on the other side.

The came a lady I should know, but not having been at Church for 6 months, I don't. It may have been the wife of the douche bag who used the commitment pattern on me, to try and get me to go home teaching with him, but I could be wrong.

She passed by on the other side as well, but she wasn't looking away.

On the contrary, she was glaring right at me, and when I stared back, she glared even harder.

People are just interesting!

A Good Week

2010-12-06T06:44:00.003-07:00

The post below was supposed to go up on my other blog... But in the fog of Monday morning, it ended up on this one. I didn't even notice that the header was wrong... It was the links on the right hand side which had changed which clued me in.

It was supposed to be a good week. After a Sunday which started awesomely and then went quickly downhill, this was the day that was going to reverse the trend.

To be fair, I shouldn't have stayed up until past midnight, watching the Amazing Race. But I wasn't tired, although I suspect the cuppa of Chai had something to do with that.

So shortly after midnight, I set my alarm, turn off the TV, and then snuggled up to Mrs Koda.

It took a while to go to sleep, but next thing I knew, I was in the midst of a dream.

It involved a multi story house which I know I seen in past dreams.

And there were people there. A guy and a gal from my tri club, and then a girl I run with at work.

This is where it get's kind of weird though.

We all left to go to a concert. We were supposed to walk or take a car. I think the travel requirements came about because of the amazing race.

I was wearing a pair of panties belonging to the girl I work with - NO CLUE WHERE THAT CAME FROM!! And I had a towel wrapped around my waste and over my shoulder - toga style - must have been a huge towel.

I think the concert was in New Zealand. A friend of mine saw Bon Jovi this past weekend down there, and New Zealand was where I saw Bon Jovi as well. I was thinking about that last night before bed. But I don't know if it was a Bon Jovi concert.

As it turned out, we were walking down a street I knew in South Africa. Trying to get to the Concert (which may have been in New Zealand), but we where headed to North Salt Lake - Some 30 minutes drive south from where I live.

And with that... I woke up.

Disoriented, and thinking it was about 2 in the morning.

Turns out that it was 4:08

7 minutes before my alarm went off...

And I needed to pee - which might be related to the aforementioned Chai.

So I got out of bed...

Walked around the bottom of the bed and toward the bathroom.

You'd think I'd be all spry and nimble... But I've been waking up stiff lately.

I was cold as well.

So there I was, lurching toward the bathroom... And my foot stopped suddenly.

And then the pain came...

SON OF A BITCH!!

I'd walked right into the leg of a large arm chair, Mrs Koda had moved into the bedroom last week.

I'm still impressed she was able to get it up the stairs and into the bedroom, but that feeling was not the one which consumed me at 4:08 this morning.

PAIN! PAIN! AND MORE PAIN!!

OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

I paused, tried to gain my composure, and then stumbled into the bathroom, before standing on the side of the bathroom scale... Which them proceeded to tip and send me sideways towards the toilet.

You know that feeling, when someone has left the seat up, and you sit down, but you pass the point where you think the seat should be, and hit the water?

I had the other feeling... The one where someone closed the lid, and so in your hasty descent, you hit before you expect it.

Needless to say, this was not the wake up I had in mind.

I reset the alarm for 4:45 and tried to get back to sleep.

You can't sleep after something like that though.

I don't think my toe is broken, but time will tell.

It still hurts like hell! And today was supposed to be my first day back running in a couple of weeks.

But I think the week may be turning around.

This was on the radio as I headed to catch my ride into Salt Lake... And I caught enough red lights to allow me to hear the whole song.

On Compassion

2010-12-06T06:33:00.002-07:00

Mormons are generally good people.

Unfortunately, oft times, they're good people, because they want you to listen to their message and join their church. I'm sure that in most cases, their intentions are pure. They believe they possess knowledge that unbelievers do not. Knowledge which will allow the non-believer to have a shot at heaven, because without it... You just can't make it.

If you want to see the ugly side of Mormonism however, go along with it for a while - hell, do like what happened to me. Be raised in the Church, go out and recruit many more souls for them (My number was somewhere above 50) and then go through and get married in the temple and spawn many new Mormon spirits.

Then when you realize it's built on a foundation of deception and manipulation, ask to take a break... Not walk out the door, yelling and screaming. Not trying to convince the congregation that they're wrong, not even confronting one of the leaders who lies directly to your face...

No, simply... I'm struggling with this, and I'd like to take a break.

Then they're not so nice.

On the plus side... I do have it pretty easy.

The Mormon Church may claim that it loves people with Same Sex Attraction - because saying homosexuality is apparently now politically incorrect in the Church. And it may act all offended that people may attribute to the Church a certain amount of responsibility in the suicide deaths of many LGBT youth.

But then you read stuff like this

WTF by The Gay Dot.

And if you read the comments, you'll find that this isn't an isolated incident.

Mormons are good people.

Although some of them are only good people because they want something.

And some of them are just sick bastards - not that I would wish any harm on them, other than to experience for just a moment, then mental pain and anguish that they have inflicted on others.

Regrets

2010-12-02T06:34:00.003-07:00

I've been planning on doing a post on regrets, but... Where I can usually blog on breaks and what-not at work, today I am SWAMPED!

So...

Since it kind of relates to the topic, please enjoy:

And perhaps:

And as always with posts like this, I feel I should add that the lyrics or general tone of the songs is not related to my marriage to the beautiful and vivacious Mrs. Koda. The hottie who still gets my motor racing!

OK - Back to work!

Third Time is a Charm

2010-11-30T08:20:00.003-07:00

This is my third blog post for the day... But it may be the only one I publish.

The first was about an assumption I made about a friend on Facebook, but I think I may have been wrong... Stupid Paranoid Brain!!

The second was intended not to be, but I think it may have been received as offensive to a group of people who I wouldn't wish any offense on. It's hard to know where the lines are sometimes, and if something crosses that line, or if you're simply being hypersensitive on behalf of other people.

And thus we arrive at post number 3...

I stayed up late last night watching an episode of Brew Master. My son actually saw the promo a couple of weeks back and suggested it for me.

Last night they made a tamarillo based beer and then entered it in a festival down in Wellington, New Zealand. The scenic shots made me homesick and the accents brought back memories.

The beer didn't win any prizes, but the Punkin beer the main guy took down there did. Punkin beer was the other story the episode covered.

I've become increasingly fascinated by beer and the process of brewing it. It's a fascinating topic for me - hence my son suggesting Brew Masters.

I had a couple of thoughts:

1 - I would kinda like to try pumpkin beer. The stuff the Dogfish Head guy made (He's the brew master on Brew Masters), had real pumpkin meat, nutmeg, cinnamon and all-spice. I'm not sure you can go wrong with any of that! Alas, the Pumpkin Ale which the local brewery, Squatters puts out was sold out at my local store this morning.

2 - I would not mind working in a brewery. Anyone know a brewery that could benefit from a Software Engineer who could help optimize their processes? Dogfish Head give each employee a Payday Case with their paycheck each week (or every 2 weeks). Sounds like a great place to work!

3 - Maybe I should look into micro brewing supplies... Not that I need another hobby at this point!!

4 - I was wondering about starting a beer review website. Of course that would also entail an admission to the world that I occasion sip from the goblet of the historically significant beverage.

Well, I guess the latter half of #4 just got taken care of.

Elf

2010-11-29T07:24:00.002-07:00

It wasn't a bad Thanksgiving - although we ended up bringing home about half of the 30lbs of mashed potatoes which we were assigned to bring to Mrs. Koda's family feast.

Black Friday ended up being somewhat of a blur. Walmart at Midnight, sleep from 3:30 till 6, Kohls, Target and Lowes, then helping a friend move from 9 till about 11, then back to Kohls and Target again, and finally Buy Direct and then home.

If we learned one thing... Black Friday is far better spent in Cyber Space. I realized this, when... Having missed all the really good deals at Walmart, and still finding ourselves standing in a 2 hour line to check out with a couple of pairs of PJ's... I logged into Walmart.com, and purchased all the stuff we missed!

Today begins a new week though...

I feel energized! Woke up at 4:15 this morning, and was dressed and ready to go by 5. Got my driveway and sidewalks shoveled and salted, down a delicious cup of hot joe, and was at the Park and Ride well before my commute buddy, ready to enjoy the treacherous trip into Salt Lake.

Tonight brings with it a little vinyl work (My order of reflective vinyl came in on Friday!!) and then Movie Night Monday...

Tonight, I believe dinner will consist of Sandwiches and the entertainment will be provided by Will Ferrell!

Since all the other clips have embedding disabled... Especially the one with...

"He's an angry elf!"

I'm Married to Nora Krank

2010-11-24T06:51:00.002-07:00

As I posted yesterday, Monday night this week was Movie Night Monday, and the evening consisted of a Pepperoni Pizza from Papa Murphy's with Cheesey Bread. Mountain Dew on the side and Christmas with the Kranks as the movie choice.

I realized that I am married to Nora Krank.

Which seems fitting, since I mentioned this to Mrs Koda during the course of the viewing and she responded that she appears to be married to Luther Krank.

You know... I do like the idea of skipping Christmas to take a cruise!

Movie Mondays

2010-11-23T06:46:00.002-07:00

One LDS tradition which me and the Mrs have struggled to get going in our house is something called Family Home Evening or FHE.

It's not that we haven't tried, it just never gets traction and usually stops a week or two after we start.

The deal is, on Monday nights, the whole family gathers together, and you have prayers, songs and then a special lesson on some gospel thing, and then you finish it with treats.

Sounds like a blast right?

I remember lots of FHE from when I was a kid about cleaning up our toys and helping out around the house - Not so much fun.

Anyway, so now that we're not active Mo's the pressure to have FHE has gone a little, but in reality the idea of a night set aside for family is actually quite a good one.

So....

We started Movie Mondays. It's taken a while to get traction, but unlike FHE, everyone is keen to get this one going.

So the Monday plan is this:

I get home from work as quick as is humanly possible.

Mrs Koda arranges for a dinner which is quick and not too messy. The plan is to eat it while we watch.

The whole family picks the movie and then we sit down and watch it together.

In the last week, it's been Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and Christmas with the Kranks.

Good times!

Feeling Punchy

2010-11-22T08:32:00.002-07:00

It's funny how life works. I had a great weekend, but it had crappy parts as well. Last week I was feeling like I was finally escaping religion, and then I got sucked in again.

So while blogging about that, and lamenting other aspects of my life I would like to change, I felt the need to post something funny - or rather punchy - if punchy means, what I think it means...

This is a selection from a play list I have on YouTube, which I've entitled my R-Rated Favorites. The common theme amongst the videos, all of the musical variety, seems to be the F-word.

So I think it goes without saying that the following should not be listened to by minors - I would say viewed, but it's a static picture, and it's just not that offensive.

I think I shall dedicate this post to TGIAA, seeing as we share a love for this comedic genius!

Just Saying...

2010-11-21T09:30:00.002-07:00

I have kind of an awkward situation with my job. It's one of the hostile workplace type situations, where my superior's political and religious views are polar opposites of mine, and often his expression of those views with respect to my political views and various minorities is actually quite offensive.

It would be all fine and well if he was just my boss, but unfortunately he's also been a good friend for most of the last decade, and he has no idea I feel differently. I've considered telling him, but I've seen how he treats people who he disagrees with. Not the their faces mind you, but behind their backs, and I don't want that. It's one of the minor reasons for my current job search.

I think he may suspect something though, since when we're driving together, which we do frequently, he'll put forth his opinion, and then start directing questions at me to defend his opinion, and put me in a place where I feel like I have to pick a side. So far I've been successful in trying to avoid the topic, and suggest possible alternatives to his opinion.

The topic this week was torture.

If you want my opinion. GW should be sitting in jail, and Obama shares part of that responsibility for not allowing or pushing for such a case to be pursued against GW.

GW admits to authorizing torture. That should be enough.

Unfortunately in our 'Free' country. Wealth and influence speak louder than justice.

Anyway. There really isn't a nice clean solution to my employment situation, other than changing the circumstances of said employment, but if I could get a few things off my chest...

I've stated before that I actually like the principles behind the Tea Party and I identify myself as a Libertarian Socialist, which means much of what I support is based on Libertarian principle.

So... With that said... In my opinion, if you want to claim to believe in Libertarian principles, and this includes stating that you agree with the Tea Party, you need to be careful of some of your other views.

Support for the war in Iraq is in direct conflict with your stated views. The Iraqi war was not justifiable and should never have been started. As Eminem so eloquently put it...

Strap him with an Ak-47, let him go, fight his own war
Let him impress daddy that way

Support for torture. There are no excuses. We claim to answer to a higher power, and live by a higher standard. The "But they would do the same to our troops" excuse is lame, as is the notion that it's justified because "They came into our country to kill our women and children" excuse. I don't think we've actually tortured anyone caught in the US, and if you want to bring women and children into the equation, lets discuss civilian casualties in Iraq.

There is a bunch of other stuff too, but the way I see it, if you're in favor of electing Palin in the next election, or if you defend Bush while condemning Obama for the current financial crisis, all you're doing is painting yourself as a hypocrite and showing that you have opted to choose party loyalty over principle and integrity.

And while we're on that topic...

Where did the idea of the option for a straight party vote on the ballot come from? Are we really that lazy that we can't check the boxes of those we want to vote for? By all means, show yourself to be a mindless, ignorant fool by voting for a party rather than a person, but do we have to make it easy to take that route?

Seem to be enabling of pure laziness, if you want my opinion!

OK - rant over...

I'm too late

2010-11-18T09:56:00.002-07:00

One of the many handicaps I have as a computer programmer, and nerd in general, is that my knowledge of Star Wars is limited at best.

I didn't watch a single Star Wars episode until I was in my twenties, and I haven't watched any of them more than once, and I think I still have two which I haven't seen.

I don't think I'm missing too much.

My four year old on the other hand... Can walk through the toy section at Target, and name off the characters like they're old friends. He lives and breathes Star Wars, and I'm not sure where it came from.

I guess I'm too late for this, and even if I'm not, if I would actually have the knowledge base to pull it off.

I noticed in the comment section below the video on YouTube however that someone made a comment about introducing children to Monty Python.

Now that I've already started! 3 nights in the Koda household last week, were spent watching Monty Python's Flying Circus.

And my 10 year old is fast becoming a Black Adder fan - much to his mothers dismay!

Lightbulbs and Layoffs

2010-11-16T07:01:00.004-07:00

I received the official invitation to a Christmas shin-dig of sorts put on by my superiors. Last year it involved sandwiches and super sweet punch in a room hidden in the bowels of the building I work in. It wasn't too bad, had it not been for the Merry Christmas message given by the deputy dude in the department, about how many of us would face layoffs in the year to come...

I'm not sure I'm going to go this year.

In other news, my job search has yet to turn up anything promising. I've tried following up on the couple of interviews I've had, but I've run into folks who all seem to be suffering from extreme cases of apathy. It may have to do with the type of business I'm in.

There is a company though which I think I'd like to work for. They were founded on the principle of creating a place where people want to work, and thus far the dividends appear to be huge.

I've been trying to think of a way to get my application noticed by them, because to be honest, coding database interactions just isn't sexy.

BUT I HAD A BRAINWAVE THIS MORNING IN THE SHOWER!!!

I'm going to put together an interactive resume over the next day. Databases may not be sexy, but I'll be damned if I'm not going to try.

I may post a link when I get it done... Maybe...

Veterans Day

2010-11-11T12:10:00.003-07:00

I'm going to come across as a complete ass today, but blogging is all about being honest, right?

Veterans Day fills me with an incredible amount of sadness.

I used to want to join the armed forces. Actually, had it not been for my mission or the requirement by the New Zealand Army that officers enter the Australian Defense Force Academy prior to their 21st Birthday, I may actually have spent some time serving.

I used to think the highest honor would be to die in the line of duty, while defending the freedom of my nation.

Things have changed for me recently.

I feel sad today, because I suspect that many, many lives of young and vibrant men have been lost, fighting not for the cause of freedom, but to further the political and economic objectives of corrupt men.

That likely makes me sound like an ass, and would probably be viewed by those who've served and those who have lost loved ones serving and very disrespectful.

I admire the courage to serve for what is viewed as a good cause. I'm sure all these men and women died fighting for the causes which they truly believed in.

I mourn the loss however for what were likely less honorable motives of their superiors.

Paranoia

2010-11-09T09:33:00.002-07:00

So I changed my Religious preference on Facebook to Humanism. It published a little blurb on my wall about it...

It was a bit of a rush pushing the button to publish it.

I was prepared for the worst.

AND...

NOTHING!

I did lose 1 friend over the weekend, but I don't know who or why, or even if I lost them, or it's just a glitch in the Facebook Universe.

It appears I was just far more paranoid than I needed to be.

Of course it still may hit the fan, but I'm getting more an more comfortable with the idea, that if those who don't like the new, more honest me are offended, they're really not worth my time.

Oh - and I just got back from a weekend in Vegas. Brutal, brutal triathlon, but I'll resume normal blogging activities soon.

Freedom

2010-11-04T08:39:00.002-06:00

There is a significant amount of freedom with "coming out" as it were. Syncing up who you are, with how the world sees you.

I feel like it might be time to come out on Facebook.

Part of me is terrified that I'll lose friends, but if friends are going to ditch me over a shift in my beliefs, they aren't really friends now, are they?

I've been toying with updating my religious status. Currently it's hidden.

Agnostic doesn't quite describe how I feel though.

Atheist probably best describes it, but that may be a hard pill for people to swallow.

Pantheist is a term I like, simply because Richard Dawkins describes it as sexed up Atheism.

But I think at the end of the day, I may actually go with Humanism...

Wikipedia has this definition:

A secular ideology which espouses reason, ethics, and justice, whilst specifically rejecting supernatural and religious dogma as a basis of morality and decision-making.

I think that about covers it... The lack of belief in religion and supernatural forces, but adds to it the believe in reason, ethics and justice.

It's like saying I'm an atheist, and since y'all think atheists are evil creeps, let me add that I still believe in ethics and morality...

Or am I trying to justify too much to people who wouldn't mind if they actually cared.

Still not entirely willing to bite the bullet though, because I know there will be some backlash...

Friend count currently stands at 369.

I'll let you know if I do decide to go for it though.

Trivia

2010-11-03T05:30:00.000-06:00

A co-worker sent me this...

I LOST the trivia contest at the church social last night by one point ---- The last question was:
"Where do most women have curly hair ?

Apparently the correct answer is: Africa ........

I've been asked to find another place to worship....

Guide for Morons

2010-11-02T03:59:00.001-06:00

I think I may have a few moron readers, and I thought by way of assistance on this election day, I might share a few pieces of advice.

The US Economy tanked in 2008. It tanked under George Bush's watch. It tanked because corporate crooks used loopholes created by deregulation to defraud the American People. That would be you! Bush authorized the big bank bail outs, and the source of your financial woes was his Republican Administration.

I've heard one of the talking heads on the radio mention how "Nothing works in this country since Obama took power..." The reason is that Bush broke it. Not Obama!

Gay Marriage isn't all about sex. Homosexuality isn't all about sex. While I don't have the reference on hand to back this statement up, one magazine I read, reported a study which found that a higher percentage of heterosexual couple engage in anal sex, than homosexual couples.

Gay marriage isn't any more about sex that your marriage is. Your marriage is more about companionship and love. Sex is simply one way of showing affection for you companion. So when you vote on issues about Gay Marriage and Gay Rights, don't think forbidden sexual acts which you may or may not want to try yourself, simply think about love and freedom. The love and freedom you have the right the legal right to pursue.

I'm sure I could come up with other tips, but those are the big ones on my mind today.

I'm voting mostly democrat, although for my county Attorney, I'm voting Libertarian. In cases where the only candidate is a Republican, I'm going to try and write something in. Either Ficus, or perhaps even my own name.

There are a few races where I have to pic the lesser of two evils. The Republican guy in one race actually seemed kind of decent and until he started spouting forth the economic benefits of Ronald Reagans approach... Unfortunately the sharp increase in National Debt during the preceding 2 occasions when that approach has been tried would seem to indicate that it is in fact a BAD IDEA!!

Fantasy Blog, Improv Style

2010-11-01T13:35:00.003-06:00

So apparently none of you can relate to my pro-Slutty Halloween post of earlier today... Although I think since the vast majority of my readers are of the female persuasion that may explain why...

You may recall a blog post a week or two back about a crazy new blog idea I had - although it was more of a disjointed series of ideas, with no real conclusion.

Since writing that post however, I've had a couple more thoughts about the idea, and I've gotten some feedback from friends and family.

The one big concern is time, because I don't have too much of it, and I suspect neither do you.

So, here's the idea...

With your help, I want to create a character, and setup a blog for him/her.

I'll put together the initial post about the character, and then resort to either a random number system, or a dice.

However it works, the user name and password will then be sent to one of the people involved. They can either write a new post to advance this character and the story of his/her life, or if they don't have time, simply send it back, and it'll get sent to someone else.

If enough people want to do it, perhaps we could ever come up with a couple of blogs. The original idea was to have a blog for each contributor, but this way we'll have multiple people contributing to one character, and it might make it even more exciting.

And I've rethought the whole literary porn thing, and I guess if that's the way the story goes... So be it! Contributions will be somewhat anonymous, so let the creative juices flow and let's see where it goes.

If you would like to participate, here's what I need from you:

An email address, which I can send the user name and password to when it's your turn. I may change it on occasion just to be safe (From what I'm not sure yet!).

Some idea of what kind of character you would like to see...

Gender
Sexual Preference
Age
Educational Background
Possible Names
Possible Living Situations
Physical Description

An email would be best to experiment at kodafit dot com

Or shoot me a note on Facebook or some other way, or if you absolutely have to, leave the info in a comment. I just wouldn't want your email address picked up by a bot, and you getting spammed because of a desire to participate in a project like this. You could always just delete it after you post it, but be aware that anyone who has subscribed to the comments may see it anyway.

Alright, just to put my idea's into the mix.

I'd kind of like a blog about a young girl, probably early to mid twenties.
Brown hair, green eyes and I'm liking the name Piper, but that's just because I have a thing for the girl on Covert Affairs!
She likes guys, although I'm not opposed to her experimenting at times if that happens.
She's a recent college grad - maybe in anthropology, and she's working in a major downtown area - maybe Chicago. She's got a new apartment, and is new in town.
I have some other ideas too, but perhaps I could save those for the blog.

I'm thinking a group of 5 to 6 people would be optimal, and like I said, maybe if we get some more, we could set up a couple of characters.

I have this bright idea to have it manage itself online... So you'd just log into an application on a website, and check in with the user name and password you used, and then it would automatically figure out the next person and email them... That way it would stay anonymous to me as well - and make it more fun - but I have lots of ideas like that, which I never follow up on.

Halloween

2010-11-01T07:32:00.003-06:00

I like Halloween for many reasons, but perhaps primary among them is the fact that it appears to have morphed into a holiday where girls like to slut it up. Not necessarily the young teens and tweens, but I have a great appreciation for the early twenty somethings who like to celebrate this holiday.

However I live in Utah, and it was rainy and cold all weekend.

I counted two, although I could count three if I included the naughty school girl outfit of the Provo Girl.

One was my girlfriend at the donut shop (As Mrs. Koda refers to her) and then second was one of the checkers at the store yesterday. A naughty cop and a chamber maid.

Two is not a good Halloween Weekend.

VOTE DAMMIT!!!

2010-10-28T06:46:00.002-06:00

So did anyone catch The Daily Show last night? Due to increased pressures all around and a severe lack of sleep, I've been neglecting my nightly homage to Mr. Stewart.

Last night however, as I lay in bed, waiting for the beautiful and talented Mrs. Koda to remove her eyes... I switched it on, and found out that... DRUM ROLL PLEASE!

THE PRESIDENT WAS SCHEDULED TO BE ON.

I'll have to grab the show and embed it in a future post, but my thoughts on the interview...

I was reminded of why I like John Stewart and why I voted for Mr. Obama.

It wasn't the usual self-importance assuring, ass-kissing type appearance by a political ally, which one would expect on a network of bottom feeders like those on network like Fox, rather there was a spirited exchange of ideas and some definite calling out on mistakes (by both parties) and correction of perceived errors in judgment.

I feel inspired to vote... And since I'm pretty sure the Tea Party/Uber Conservative types can no longer stomach my blog, I think it best that I simply admonish you all to get out there and vote your conscience.

I'll be voting for freedom, civil liberty and family values, and I'm pretty sure none of my chosen candidates will be related to an elephant in that endeavor.

Performance of a Lifetime

2010-10-26T06:44:00.002-06:00

Those of you who know the real me on Facebook, may recall that last week I opted to place in my mouth a giant Tootsie Roll Candy. For those who don't know what a Tootsie Roll is, it's a chocolate, chewy candy, not unlike toffee, and it's actually not that good. But I had a craving and it was handy, so in it went.

No sooner had I place said Tootsie Roll in my mouth than my phone rang... It was an unknown number, and appeared that it may be from a corporate source. The problem with calls from a corporate source is that often the number you see is simply an outgoing line number, and you can't call it back to see who called.

So mouth full of mediocre, chewy chocolateness, I grabbed the phone, and proceeded to leave the cubicle farm in which I work to take the call.

It turns out it was a call back on a position I applied for a week or two prior.

It could be an interesting position, and if I get it, the outcome could be interesting as well. I think I've already blogged about my boss wanting to use a new job as leverage to try and get my team and I raised.

Today is the job interview. I've clean shaven and smelling good (Although not too good - don't want to kill the guys with the scent of aftershave!). The suit pants are on, and the shoes are somewhat shiny. I have on a white shirt, and on the wall of my cubical is hanging my suit coat and my bright red "Power" tie.

I feel ready!

I left home a little early, and stopped by Carls Jr. for their 2 biscuits for $2 deal... Except they weren't doing it anymore.

Probably for the best, since my cholesterol could do with being lowered.

So I stopped by my favorite donut shop... MADBROOKS!!

And grabbed a grande "Highlander Grog" coffee and a couple of their large angular donuts. Because we all know that nothing lowers cholesterol like a nice creamy coffee and deep fried donuts, caked in sugar!

I'm feeling set for the performance of my lifetime. I usually approach these things with a certain amount of humility and honesty, and so far that approach has gotten me nowhere...

I'm not going to be arrogant or cocky, but By Jove... I am going to sell myself today.

Not since my high school performance of Big River have I felt the need to perform at such a high standard.

PROMOTION... HERE I COME!!

Don't Judge Me

2010-10-25T08:17:00.002-06:00

OK folks, first my apologies... I had an issue with my computer over the weekend. What was supposed to be a simple upgrade to a new hard drive ended up being about 60 hours of pure stress and worry. Fortunately thanks to some help from a good Samaritan online, late last night I was able to access my computer again.

Phew!!

Turns out that there are three key things you shouldn't do when engaging in the process I engaged in. Of course none of these are actually mentioned in the accompanying documentation, and I actually managed to do all three. I ended up with cross-talk contamination between my old and new drive.

Anyway, you don't come here to read about my technical woes... That's why I set up Koda's Code - where I will try and document all of this later today.

You're here because I made some comments last week about a weird mood I was in... And it was kind of related to sex, which was like creating anticipation, and then amping it up on steroids.

This may be a long story, but it all started a couple of weeks ago.

There are two distinct motives behind it.

First, I've discovered a certain amount of pleasure in writing. While I was in school, composition was probably one of my least favorite subjects, but it seems recently that has all changed. Perhaps it's that I enjoy writing because I want to, and that I can write what I want and when I want. Perhaps it's the response from all my readers. Perhaps it's because I can tap into parts of my brain which have hither to been untapped. And perhaps it's a just a combination of all of that.

At the end of the day, I like writing and I think the best way to do it is to keep writing.

Second, I'm finding myself in a quandary of sorts. With blogging comes a certain amount of anonymity, which is awesome because in a way it lets you be yourself. Even better than anonymity though is meeting folks who you've gotten to know online. But the problem is, that when you move towards meeting folks, then you lose the aforementioned anonymity.

With anonymity, I can be myself, or even not be myself. I can share my deepest secrets and most intimate fantasies, but that's getting difficult the more readers I meet.

But don't get me wrong here... I LOVE MEETING YOU GUYS!! And like I said before it's better than being anonymous. But I still miss parts of the anonymity.

And that all leads into the third thing. I'm very happily married and have an awesome family. I wouldn't give up Mrs Koda for anything and I love her to death.

Being raised Mormon, my sexuality was very, very repressed. Perhaps it was for the best, because part of me wonders if it had been allowed to develop unreigned, there would be little Koda's the world over. Of course, perhaps that's just the warped Mormon thinking of... If you're not a good Mormon you become a valueless degenerate, willing to hop in the sack with anyone and anything.

Leaving Mormonism opens up a whole realm of sexual avenues to explore, except if you're married then those options are limited to you and your spouse, and let me reiterate again, that I wouldn't want to do anything which would impact my relationship with Mrs. Koda.

OK, so I like writing, I like aspects of anonymity, and I would love a way to explore sexuality without negative effects to my marriage. Actually... If I could explore together with Mrs. Koda, that would be awesome, but such exploration might not exactly be something I would share online.

Early one morning a few weeks ago, I had an idea...

What if I were to set up a new blogger account, and then start a new blog.

And this is where the "Don't judge me" warning comes into play!

My idea was to blog as a single young woman. Perhaps just out of college, starting a new career and getting settled in a new town. The idea was to develop her character, explore her interactions with others and blog about them. In retrospect, it would kind of be like writing a novel, except the writing would happen in real time, and for all to see.

I was going to be anonymous through the endeavor, and part of the fun would be seeing if anyone picked up on the blog, and how they followed it.

My plan wasn't to make it explicit in anyway, but allude to various relationships and interactions with members of the opposite sex.

As that idea has marinated over the past few weeks, another idea grew on top of it. This was the idea I alluded to last week.

What if I could find a female type person who wanted to do the same thing. We could kind of start blogs together, and then sort of develop this fictional relationship over time, and see where it went.

But I can foresee a big problem with this... Exploring that relationship, even with reversed gender rolls, could lead to the development of inappropriate feelings and or interactions, and like I said before, I'm not willing to risk anything with Mrs Koda.

I told her about my original idea when I came up with it a few weeks ago, and it was hard to read her. And then I told her about this new, morphed idea, and she shared some of my concerns. She's just not a bloggy type person either, but she did offer the suggestion that perhaps we could do it together... I'll have to see if anything develops there.

The final iteration of this idea happened over the weekend, and it's till not more than just a basic frame work.

The idea was to combine some of the previous ideas and come up with something both appropriate, but still fun. Anonymous, but still allowing interaction between people I know.

It's kind of that living novel idea, but with multiple participants.

So here's how it would work. We'd need at least 6 people to do it, and could add others as we went along. I think 6 gives enough people that it would be hard to determine identities, but not too many that managing online interactions would be too hard.

So about 6 people, and we would all set up new blogger accounts. We'd have to have a central blogger account where we could coordinate a few things, and that may be best kept private, but then each of those people would set up their own blogs. We could have guys being girls, girls being guys, girls being girls and guys being guys. Straight people being Gay and Gay people being Straight.

Each person would start with a basic character description and then we could work on the interactions. To begin with, I think it would have to focus on a friends type approach. Each person has their lives, but the other members of the groups are friends, and they kind of develop that friendship over time.

So my character may have certain attributes, have a unique workplace, and meet interesting characters. His/Her blog would then share those interactions and share it with the rest of the group, who would in turn, do the same.

Perhaps the private central blog could be a place to coordinate things which might then later be blogged about.

I think it would be fun to explore sexual type stuff as well - the anonymous factor would help facilitate that, but I wouldn't want it to turn into a literary porn site - If you know what I mean.

It's kind of anonymous, kind of fantasy, part improvisation and mostly just fun.

In looking that over, I can think of a few possibly outcomes.

I may be up in the night, off my rocker, and heading towards a beautiful mind type end.
It may be just a crazy idea I mess with for a while and then move onto something else.
It could be fun though too.

Whether it's one or all of those I guess only time will tell.

Feel free to comment, and/or suggest medications I should be on.

Just Good Stuff

2010-10-22T05:28:00.000-06:00

Through a series of links, epiphanies and memories I arrived at a series of videos by New Zealand band Supergroove.

Just thought I'd add a little cultural diversity to the blog!

And my all time favorite - I just couldn't find a version with decent audio quality...

My Mood

2010-10-21T13:58:00.002-06:00

I've still got something on my brain... Kind of know what I want to do, but I have an idea to make it better, but not sure how to go about the additional resource I need in order to get it done, and do so without straying into the realm of the inappropriate.

Perhaps I should just be quiet about it for now.

In the meantime...

Kind of it, but not really...

In My Pants

2010-10-19T07:24:00.003-06:00

I don't think I've posted this yet, but...

I feel the need to post something humorous, and I have this real deep desire to delve into things of an erotic nature... I may get back to that second thing at a later date.

Anyway, this kind of covers reason 1 and kind of sort of covers 2, except it's not the kind of thing which usually turns me on... Actually it doesn't turn me on at all, but some might.

Thanks to Leah for that one...

And now in a similar vein, and some guys who the group above reminded me of.

An oldy by a goody...

And at least one of these two is from Wellington, which ties this whole post back into what I talked about yesterday.

Itchy Feet

2010-10-18T07:14:00.002-06:00

My feet are getting increasingly itchy...

I was on a New Zealand employment site last week, and they wanted me to register before I could view the details for a position they had in Aukland. And then part of the registration process involved the submission of my CV...

Long story short... I now have an online CV that can be viewed by Kiwi employers. I don't have any outstanding skills per say, but perhaps as I try to rectify that over the next couple of years, that reality may change.

I found myself on a site looking at Brazil this morning as well... I think it was inspired by Pitbull.

I don't think Mrs Koda would go for a change in culture which included a language change as well, but it was fun to look. I think I could do Chile, Argentina, or almost any South American country.

But first prize would definitely be Wellington, New Zealand.

New Look

2010-10-15T09:39:00.002-06:00

Hey Folks! I made some changes to the blog... In case you didn't notice :-)

Unfortunately in the process I lost my graphics and my blogroll.

I think I got most of the blogroll back, and I'm hoping you like the new graphics.

If however you find you or your mates missing from the blogroll on this blog, or my other blog, please let me know.

And if I could enhance the design on this site to make it more readable, I'm happy to oblige there as well. But I can't unless you tell me!!

Have a great weekend everyone!

The Big One Two!!!

2010-10-13T06:28:00.002-06:00

So folks, on the calendar of memorable days in my personal history, today stands well above any other.

October 13th, 1998

I got married to the wonderful, beautiful and vivacious Mrs. Koda!

We've known each other since November of 1996, although her initial impression of me was that I was somewhat of a geek and likely a person to be avoided.

Perhaps I'm a bit like a virus... You don't necessarily have to like me, but if you hang around me long enough, I'll latch on and won't let go.

We had to pretty much circumnavigate the globe to get together, but when we did, we were inseperable and have been ever since.

Think about her stirs in me thoughts of God...

For only God could know why she's stuck with me all these years!!

HAPPY 12th ANNIVERSARY BABE!!!

Female Point System

2010-10-12T09:00:00.002-06:00

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)

But return with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with iron rod (+10)

It's her pet (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school
friend (-2)

Named Tina (-10)

Tina is a dancer (-20)

Tina has silicone implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY

You take her out to dinner (+2)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3)

Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted
the colors of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+1)

You take her to a movie she likes (+3)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts (-30)

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what)

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what
looks like a concerned expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)

Walking the Walk

2010-10-05T06:18:00.002-06:00

If you follow this blog, you know I'm pretty big on Equality, especially gay rights. I think it's a combination of knowing its the right thing to do, and perhaps a little attempt at trying to atone for past homophobic attitudes, while being a "Good Mormon".

Anyway, with all that said, I, like many others found the hate spewed forth from the pulpit at the LDS Conference this past weekend, especially vile and inappropriate.

I'm upset, angry and felt good about my efforts to help spread the word about it.

But... I think the time may have come for a new level of involvement.

On Thursday night this week, Pride in Utah are organizing a rally in Salt Lake City. I'm not sure what form it will take, but I feel the need to attend.

On one hand, it means leaving my family for an entire night, but on the other hand, I think it's time I walked the walk, and put my money where my mouth is.

Right is right.

Utah Protest Over Boyd K Packer Hate Speech

Post #500!

2010-10-04T14:30:00.003-06:00

On Monday June 18th, 2007, I found myself thinking about freedom. It had been on my mind for a while, and after setting up a blog a short time before, I hammered out a short couple of paragraphs and published my first posting as Urban Koda.

Freedom is Free

It's hard to tell exactly where I stood politically and religiously at the time, but I think I still believed in the Church. Politically I think I was still way right of most of the population, although I found myself become increasingly Libertarian.

Much has happened since then...

I got my pecker snipped here.

I got hacked off by a fat lady at Walmart here and have taken a lot of heat since for my stance of welfare programs.

Along the way, I went from being a huge fan of Glenn Beck, to cringing everytime I here his voice and witnessing the effect of his bigoted rants.

I'm not sure if I've had much influence, other than helping people identify cranial lumps.

But at the end of the day I've had fun and met a ton of new friends along the way.

I find myself now a Socialist Libertarian, with a strong distaste for any form of organized religion, a skeptical outlook about the existence of God, and far greater love and respect for my fellow men and women.

I know I'll forget some of my readers, but at the risk of offending some, just some special mentions...

Matsby, or The Mediocre Gatsby as he was back then... He was the catalyst who inspired me to blog, and became my first officially commenter.

Morgan Mouse, my favorite Sydney resident and the person who has most influenced my feelings towards cats. Of course most of that credit goes to Tigger.

E, always good with the comments and willing to provide feedback. E also played a key role in my being caught apostatizing by my parents - oh the memories!!

TravelVixen, or Ms. Ranty Pants. The young lady single handedly responsible for changing my opinion on socialized healthcare and likely the one foremost responsible for my becoming a freaking liberal.

CAW - Good friend and fellow conspiracy theorist. Also my favorite customer service person!

Gregoire - I'm not sure I can quite categorize this reader, other than to say of all my readers, the effect of his blogging and comments on my posts, may have had the greatest effect on me, at least religiously.

Clink - The regular anonymous provider of thoughtful feedback, and a good friend in real life

Lisa, Kuri, TGD, TGW, Bowie, AndrewS, CHansen, Rock Waterman, Leah, Sister Secret, Molly, Holly, J-Dog, Heretic, Simply Sarah, Maureen, Loren, Sean, Donna Banta and scores of others who routinely comment and provide ideas, feedback and other support.

Dave P, who it turns out was the one responsible for my suspicion that the Mormon Gestapo was tracking my movements, and the subsequent freak-out - OK, so the freakout was all me, but his visit sparked it off!

And last by by no means least... D. Sirmize. He's been a little scarce lately, but his often opposing views have forced me to be more honest, and examine my sources carefully before posting. I still think Glenn Beck is an opportunistic ass, but I try to cite actually reasons when posting stuff about him now.

There are others to be sure, some I've like, most I've loved, and only one or two who I've found to be disagreeable.

I've been told that I have the Philosophy of Satan in the Marrow of my bones, and to go crawl in a hole and die, but at the end of the day, the entire experience has been unforgettable, not in the least regrettable, and become a significant part of who I am.

To those who read in secret, thanks!

To those who read and comment, thanks as well!

And to those whom I'm now friends with in real life, thank you, thank you, thank you!

To celebrate this post, we held a party at the Koda household yesterday. It was short notice, and likely badly time, especially in conjunction with Mormon Conference and other things.

But we got a cake, had it decorated and were graced with 8 visitors during the afternoon. The largest gathering ever of Urban Koda followers.

Now to be fair, 4 of those visitors likely had little to no choice as to their attendance.

The Girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes and The Guy with the Hair... Thanks for the cookies and your friendship. It's nice to know you're not alone.

And the folks behind Mormon Expressions, your visit, and your contributions to our lives, both through our personal interactions, as well as through the podcast, have been invaluable in my journey and that of my family as well.

Thanks Everyone and here's to another 500 posts!!!

Getting Connected to Break Free

2010-09-30T09:07:00.002-06:00

Folks, before I begin...

My next blog post will be #500 for this blog. That's a lot of writing, and with it has come a lot of new friends, memories and other good stuff.

I'm trying to think of a way to celebrate, so if anyone has any suggestions...

I'm toying with the idea of doing a meetup for any readers who might live in Northern Utah, and blogging about it. What do you think? Perhaps we could even Skype people in for it or something.

I think perhaps a cake might be in order...

Mrs. Koda may not go for the meetup, but if I can get a banana nut cake from her favorite bakery, with the cream cheese frosting, perhaps she'll go for it...

Anyway, I have another request for suggestions as well, but first the story behind it.

My phone died last weekend. It was rather sad. It's been a good phone, lasted over 2 years, and has ridden with me on a number of training rides and runs, including a marathon and a half ironman. I think an super statically charged cart at Walmart did it in, and despite it's rugged exterior, the software just couldn't handle it.

I think in many ways, I may be like my phone... Rugged on the outside, but you get the right issue, and charge it up, and I can be broken pretty easily.

Anyway, so after a couple of attempts by me, and the Verizon folks to recover the phone, I ended up having to upgrade.

So, Sunday afternoon, me and the Mrs headed to the Verizon store, and picked out our new phones. I was going to wait till I had the new job, before I got a smart phone, but I thought I'd exercise faith and get it anyway... At this time, I suspect that I might not have the job... Uh oh! But at least the vinyl business is going well!

Anyway, so I have a new Galaxy S by Samsung, and it is... SWEEEEEEEEET!

I was worried that with another connection tying me to the world, I'd become more of an introverted tech geek, but quite the opposite has happened. I'm feeling less attached to my computer, and free to spend more time with the fam. And at the same time, I can get email quicker, and respond quicker to my clients.

The only downside has been a couple of the apps. I started playing Jewel, and then yesterday I downloaded a fishing game. Both have taken up far more of my time than they should, but the good news is that I'm slowly losing interest in them.

My boss has the same phone. I've mentioned him before. He's a great guy, but unfortunately his Mormoness has caused him to be raging homophobe, and somewhat of a blind Republican type person. That aside though, I like the guy.

Unfortunately he doesn't know about my departure from Mormonism...

I though about telling him, but read somewhere that especially at work, stuff like that should be kept quiet. So I just ignore his anti-Obama emails, the Church references and all of that.

We car pool together as well, which saves money, and the environment, but raises the odd uncomfortable situation. Well, for me at least.

So we're driving home this week, and he starts suggesting apps for my phone. They're all the scripture, sunday school and other lesson type stuff apps, and he apparently LOOOOVES them.

Perhaps it was telling that I didn't immediately start trying to download them.

Anyway, since I'm not going to get those, does anyone have any other great suggestions for apps?

I used Google's Star Map at 5:30 this morning, and identified Sirius for the first time in my life. I also saw Andromeda - not sure if it's a nebula or a galaxy or if those are the same or different things.

I also discovered that my star sign does not appear to be visible in the light polluted skies above Davis County.

Oh - and since I don't want to waste post #500 on an invite to a meetup, if I do one... Shoot me an email, leave a comment, hookup with me on facebook, or send a carrier pigeon if you want in on the celebration - assuming I do something.

New Beginnings

2010-09-27T09:40:00.003-06:00

Crazy last couple of days...

It started on Wednesday night, when kid #4 got the pukes. I had a job interview on Thursday morning, which had me worried, so it wasn't like I was going to sleep much anyway.

The interview seemed to go well... Hopefully I'll find out just how well later this week. The interesting thing is that when I spoke to my current manager about it, he indicated that he might be able to leverage the possibility of my leaving to get me a pay increase.

I appreciated the gesture, but at the same time, it's sad that it takes a threat of me leaving to do something like that.

So, if an offer gets made (PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!), then I get to see if there is a counter offer at my current position, and then weigh the options.

The nice thing is that my boss seems to be a little extra friendly right now... Wondering if I should try and capitalize on it... I mean he's always been very accommodating, and there really isn't a reason to leave, other than the fact that we're just not making it right now. Well, that and I feel like my career is stagnating, but I think I can work with that - just need to take some initiative.

The remainder of my weekend went something like this.

Friday was relaxing. Nice to have all my vinyl projects done.

Friday night I grabbed my race packet and then took the family to Chick-Fil-A.

Kid #4 decided to puke in the restaurant though.

Kid #5 then got sick, and spent the night puking.

I raced a half marathon on Saturday morning, and completely slaughtered my previous best time for the distance.

I think with the solid training base I have, perhaps now training is more advantageous for recovery.

I got a touch of what the kids had on Saturday evening and the rest of my weekend was pretty miserable. And I still can't walk.

During the race - actually all the preceding week, my cell phone has been iffy. I got done, and tried to call Mrs. Koda, but it was acting up more than normal, and so I tried to reset it.

It's a virtually indestructible phone. Water-proof, shock-proof, dust-proof and all of that... I think the static from a shopping cart at Walmart destroyed it though.

I haven't been able to get it to turn on since.

So yesterday I went and got a new phone. It's a smart phone with internet access.

It cost a little more than my current phone, and we really don't have the money, but...

I'm hoping it will make me more productive, and hopefully from that increased productivity, I can generate more income.

It's the beginning of a new week, and I feel like it's the beginning of a new segment of my life as well... Not just the phone, but just a whole bunch of things.

I greet the new stuff with open arms and a whole bunch of confidence.

In other news, I saw these guys perform a year or so back. It has nothing to do with the above post, but I liked the song especially!

Crawling with Hands Held High

2010-09-22T08:26:00.003-06:00

I thought I'd blogged this before, but I couldn't find it. Blogger search seems to have some limitations.

Anyway... You may or may not know that I'm a big fan of Linkin Park. This past weekend, Dish Network - my satellite provider - has been showing an hour long show, featuring Alice in Chains and Linkin Park from Sonisphere over in England.

I was particularly interested in the flags in the audience. There were a couple of Mexican flags, a Welsh flag, and even the Stars and Bars - the old Southern Confederate flag.

And then in one corner were two flags which caught my attention. It was a South African flag - the new one, and then right below it, was the old Rhodesian flag.

In many ways, the new South African flag represents a triumph over the older flag, and it's associated apartheid regime. The old Rhodesian flag may carry some of the same sentiments of the old South African flag though. Although I guess based on the problems with the ensuing regime, and it's destruction of the country, perhaps the older flag symbolizes something better.

I thought that was interesting.

One of the songs Linkin Park performed was Crawling, but right is it began, Mike Shinoda rapped out the lyrics to Hands Held High.

It was excellent.

I'll past the lyrics below, as well as a youtube clip of Hand Held High.

Two quick thoughts before I do though...

First... There is a better way to honor our countries finest young men and women, than sending them to die in the desert in the name of a corrupt government. George Bush, Dick Cheney, and all of those who benefited financially and politically from this conflict... You have blood on your hands.

Second... To all those like Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck who seem to glory in the might of the US military and somehow tie patriotism in with their deaths... In the words of Bill Mahr. "We love our troops the way Michael Vick loves his dogs."

"Hands Held High"

Turn my mic up louder I got to say something
Light weights step to the side when we come in

Feel it in your chest the syllables get pumping
People on the street they panic and start running

Words on loose leaf sheet complete coming
I jump in my mind and summon the rhyme, I'm dumping

Healing the blind I promise to let the sun in
Sick of the dark ways we march to the drum and

Jump when they tell us that they wanna see jumping
Fuck that I wanna see some fists pumping

Risk something, take back what's yours
Say something that you know they might attack you for

Cause I'm sick of being treated like I have before
Like it's stupid standing for what I'm standing for

Like this war's really just a different brand of war
Like it doesn't cater the rich and abandon poor

Like they understand you in the back of the jet
When you can't put gas in your tank

These fuckers are laughing their way to the bank and cashing the cheque
Asking you to have compassion and have some respect

For a leader so nervous in an obvious way
Stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay

And the rest of the world watching at the end of the day
In their living room laughing like "what did he say?"

Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen

In my living room watching but I am not laughing
Cause when it gets tense I know what might happen

World is cold the bold men take action
Have to react or get blown into fractions

Ten years old it's something to see
Another kid my age drugged under a jeep

Taken and bound and found later under a tree
I wonder if he had thought the next one could be me

Do you see the soldiers they're out today
They brush the dust from bullet proof vests away

It's ironic at times like this you pray
But a bomb blew the mosque up yesterday

There's bombs in the buses, bikes, roads
Inside your market, your shops, your clothes

My dad he's got a lot of fear I know
But enough pride inside not to let that show

My brother had a book he would hold with pride
A little red cover with a broken spine

On the back, he hand-wrote a quote inside
When the rich wage war it's the poor who die

Meanwhile, the leader just talks away
Stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay

And the rest of the world watching at the end of the day
both scared and angry like "what did he say?"

Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen

With hands held high into the sky so blue,
As the ocean opens up to swallow you.

Your Mother

2010-09-21T12:38:00.002-06:00

Yes, that's right... I'm talking about your mother!

Got a problem with it?

Well, I guess we could be all childish and meet over by the flagpole like a bunch of school boys, or...

We could be grown up about it, and discuss this like adults.

For my side, I would like to submit the following:

Why an Octopus is more Awesome than your Mom

And yes, that is my assertion... Octopuses freakin' rock!

And if you're going to try and give me a hard time about my use of Octopuses as the plural form of Octopus...

And in all honesty here, I don't know many of my readers Mom's so lets just chalk this whole unfortunate incident between us, as simply a laaaame attempt on my part to be funny.

Insomnia

2010-09-20T08:00:00.002-06:00

I'm not sure if it actually is insomnia, but I just couldn't sleep last night.

I think it may be related to excitement however.

It all began on Friday. A good friend sent me an email about a picnic for CALM - Community After Leaving Mormonism. I was so excited, I neglected to read most of the email.

Saturday came, and we got sandwiches made, potato chips and drinks purchased, and the entire tribe all loaded in the minivan for the journey down to the picnic.

It was then that I actually read the email, and realized it wasn't until Sunday, so the kids had a nice afternoon at a local park, and I'll be damned if I didn't thoroughly enjoy it. We need to do stuff like this more often, methinks!

So then came Sunday... Again we packed up and left, and found the park where the get together was happening.

There is no easy way to approach a group such as this... Especially when you're a little paranoid, and worried that the group may be a little paranoid too.

Actually, our intro went fairly well. I wondered over, mumbled something about hoping this was the right place, and before I knew it, we were surrounded by people with similar backgrounds.

Another couple arrived a little later, and it was funny to watch them try to figure out who we were and if they had the right place. They did, and they turned out to be an awesome couple, but it was still interesting to watch.

You're in Mormon Central, and I guess it just isn't natural to wonder over to a group and ask... "So are y'all the Ex-Mormons?"

An elderly lady showed up a little later as well. She had her scriptures and her Ensign (monthly Mormon publication), and did soooo not belong. I don't know if she knew the kind of group she was wondering around, but it provided those of us who did with a great amount of hilarity.

Anyway... The kids had a great time playing with the other kids there, and even our eldest son, who whined a little at the end, had to admit he enjoyed it.

For me, it was just great to spend time with people who have a similar background and outlook on life.

It wasn't negative in the least bit, just very, very positive and very affirming.

I've been needing to write an essay for submission to another group for a couple of weeks now... I kind of have the story in my head, but it just wasn't working.

I woke up around 4:30 this morning, and the story started to come together. I'm pretty excited about it, and will likely blog more about it on my other blog.

This is the second weekend in a row which has ended with a lack of sleep, but a feeling of exhilaration and accomplishment.

Last weekend it was a race with some great friends. It was all about accomplishment, inspiration and overcoming the impossible, and we finished third in our division!!!

This weekend it was similar but different. People who share a common history, and people who accept me for who I am.

I just like being myself.

No facades, no need to hide anything, just me, myself and I, interacting with real people who feel the same way.

Pure Awesomeness!!!

Next weekend may be a huge let down though... Unless I can arrange something... I've got a half marathon on Saturday morning. Perhaps we need to arrange a post-mo meet up on Sunday or something.

Finger Licking Good

2010-09-14T07:37:00.002-06:00

So after about a week away from the office, I'm finally back.

Waking up was rough, and I was almost on time. The shower took a little longer than it should have, and by the time all was said and done... I ended up almost an hour late.

We had Chinese food last night as well, although, I suspect that despite the restaurant being owned and run by authentic looking and sounding Chinese people, it was likely an American version of Chinese cuisine.

I think if I could trade lives with anyone right now, it would be Anthony Bourdain.

Anyway, since I usually skip both breakfast and lunch on work days, I decided that leftover Chinese would be a good thing to bring in.

I filled a bowl with ham fried rice, and Mongolian Beef.

And I got a little bit of the sauce from the beef on my finger as I was putting on the lid.

Man! It was good!!

The flavor spread over my lips, and into my mouth, and the salivating began.

It was a long drive to work, and when I finally pulled in, my stomach was growling and I was drooling like nothing else.

I caved 30 minutes in...

Breakfast this morning was most of my mix of the fried rice and the beef. My lips are still tingling, and my mouth is loaded with flavors and spice.

Mmmmmmmmm!

I'm not sure if the rest of my lunch will survive much past the next hour.

Serious Balls

2010-09-12T17:14:00.003-06:00

So I did a relay race in Southern Utah this past weekend. Much running was done, much driving took place, and there was minimal sleep. Needless to say, I am not walking with much grace today, and have spent my time thinking up creative excuses to avoid the usage of any stairs.

Down at the relay however, one team came dressed as figure skaters. Their costumes were excellent, and even better was the fact that they actually ran in them as well. In my mind that took some serious balls, and I tip my hat to the entire team.

You know what takes some serious balls as well...

A 50+ year old man comes to our door today... I waddle over with difficulty to see what he would like. He has kind of been the one teaching my 6 year old daughter for the past year or so, and I guess today at Church, they made it official. He seemed like a nice guy.

He stopped by to ask my permission for him to come and visit my daughter. On the weeks when she doesn't come to church, he wanted my permission (He mentioned wanting my permission like 5 times in the brief conversation), to stop by and give her a 10 to 15 minute lesson, one on one, with her.

In a Church where the history, albeit it hidden, contains 'prophets' marrying and screwing 14 year old girls... You want my permission, for you... A 50+ year old man, to come and visit my 6 year old daughter?!?

I'm constantly amazed - although I shouldn't be - in the way which apparently reasonable people, can completely dismiss any semblance of the idea of appropriate behavior, under the guise of 'Religious Duty'.

And yet at the same time, when I compare Mormons to the 9/11 hijackers, people get upset with me...

Sure, they don't exactly want to hijack planes and fly them into buildings, but an inappropriate relationship and interactions with my 6 year old?!? You've got to have some serious balls to even think about asking that. Do you know what you also have? Well, you sure as hell don't have my permission to interact with her, and she will not be attending your class ever again.

Down Under

2010-09-08T08:18:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I mentioned that Mrs Koda and I talked about planning an extended vacation 'Down Under'.

Here's my thinking:

Perhaps the overarching motivation here, is history. Many of you know mine, but for those who don't... I'm African, born and raised. African blood runs in my veins and the place is and always will be my home. I would love to share part of that with my kids. Take them to places I used to go, smell the things I used to smell, tastes I tasted and things I heard.

Africa isn't the safest place right now though, and perhaps more importantly isn't great for employment either. Things are turning around, but it's still gonna take some time.

I moved to New Zealand when I was 17 and lived there until right before I turned 20 and left to go back to South Africa as a missionary.

I had a lot of really great experiences there, some of which required religious confession, which I detailed in my other blog last week... GOOD TIMES!!

Anyway, with Africa not being a viable option, I have an urge to share some of my childhood with my kids. This need seems to have increased even more as I've left Mormonism, and with it much of what I was raised with.

So with that in mind, I've been thinking a great deal about moving my family back to New Zealand.

There are other motivations as well...

I'm worried about what's going on in the US right now.

Perhaps it's just that I live and work amongst particularly violent and hateful people, but the drums of war are beating stronger each day, and the war they seem to be indicating is likely to be of the civil variety.

These are people who claim to be Christian, but possess deep hatred for opposing religions, the non-religious and people with a variety of differing opinions and lifestyles. Most are also convinced the end of the world is imminent, and I suspect will allow that thought to become increasingly self prophetic.

The US economy is also in the crapper as well, and I'm not too optimistic about it getting fixed, particularly after news on the radio recently about increasing popularity of Republicans in the upcoming elections... The very same Republicans who through a series of tax cuts, wars and financial fraud managed to cause the financial melt down in the first place. With all due respect to most of my readers, the average (and I should probably add... Conservative) American seems to lack the ability to remember events just 2 years in the past, or the ability to think past the end of their nose...

But perhaps it's just the area I live in.

I also want to give my kids the opportunity for an education in life, something far and above what they'll get in their formal schooling.

So, with all of this in mind, and likely other stuff too...

Here's what we're thinking:

We need to try and get out from under our house, although the idea to walk away and let the folks at the bank deal with it, is still veeeeery tempting. I don't think it's an entirely honest approach, but at the same time, it would appear that when we bought the house, there may have been some appraisal trickery which ultimately caused us to pay far more than we should have... No use crying over spilt milk as they say, but it seems that everyone profited off that deal, except us. Kinda pisses me off.

So, if we can overcome the house problem, then we need to build up some serious savings, which may be easier said than done, especially with 5 growing mouths to feed... Got a job interview of sorts on Thursday though!!

Next I need to seriously increase my skillset. I'm going to keep seeking out more challenging employment, and hopefully I can find some needs in New Zealand and work on teaching myself those skills to make me more marketable.

Then, I need to apply for a work permit... My current skillset has me on the short term needs list for both New Zealand and Australia. That means that I can probably get a short term permit, perhaps just for a couple of years, but that's all we're looking for right now.

And then we'll bite the bullet and do it.

In a perfect world, we'd shift over there with enough in savings to support us for a couple of years, just in case things don't go well.

After 2 years are done, we will likely come back... Unless of course we fall in love with the place and decided to try and find a way to stay.

Obviously, the chance to share some of my personal history with my kids is the primary reason, so we would be looking at moving near the Wellington area, but factoring in the other motivating factors... If that isn't possible, we may well look elsewhere in New Zealand, and perhaps over in Australia as well.

I'll post updates as and when there are developments in this 5 to 10 year plan!

New Ideas

2010-09-07T07:59:00.002-06:00

We just got done with a long weekend, which seemed even longer due to our activities over the weekend...

For about 5 years now, I've had a side business developing software as a freelancer. It was fun to begin with, since I was a tech support guy, but now I work as a web developer, and doing that all day, and then developing all night as well... Not so much fun anymore.

Plus, Mrs Koda and the remainder of our wee tribe can't exactly help with that.

So, back in April or so, we purchased a vinyl cutter. The business has had a slow start, mostly just making stuff for Mrs Koda to decorate with and doing freebies for friends, but recently I lucked out, and scored a sweet gig, which flowed into another gig, and resulted in us spending the entire past 4 days, up to our eyeballs in vinyl!

It was cool because the Mrs and I got to spend time together and on Sunday, even the kids got involved and did a little work to help out.

Anyway... Out of that came some different thoughts and ideas.

While the doing freebies for friends, may not make business sense, either karma, advertising or something else has really kicked in, and so we're going to keep doing it! So if any of y'all want vinyl decals, let me know!!! Within reason of course!

Coffee is awesome!! I usually consume a fair amount of caffeine in a day, but it's usually the cold and/or fizzy kind. I got a grande cup of Kona coffee from our local donut place on Friday. Mmmmmm. I went back on Saturday Morning and got a Grande of Highlander Grog - Even more MMMMMMMMMMMM! I skipped Sunday because... Well you don't go shopping on Sunday... Mwhahahahaha! Actually I don't know why I skipped it... But then Monday morning I woke up with a headache - which I think ended up being sinus related, but it was a good enough excuse to go and grab another. I think it may be time to purchase a coffee maker!

While discussing coffee with the Mrs... Who doesn't like the taste, like 80% of my kids... We listened to a whole bunch of Mormon Expression podcasts. We're thinking about doing something once a month for folks in Northern Davis county - unless anyone knows if there is one already... I've joked about starting my own Church, and this is kind of an extension of that idea... Get a group together in our home on a Sunday morning, have coffee, hot chocolate, tea and perhaps some snacks, and then do some mingling, and then perhaps discuss a topic related to religion, society, science or something else.

And while all of that was going on, I was running down into my basement to check on the computer, the cutter and our supply levels, and I got an email from a race I'm doing next weekend. It's a relay race in Southern Utah, and it's the second year they're doing it. I'm STOKED about doing it again this year, and am ready to sign up for next year already...

But in one of their update emails, they mentioned doing another relay race, this time out in Moab.

I kind of have a standard crew I do the Southern Utah one with, but I was wondering if anyone here would be interested in being part of a team for the Moab one. I know I have at least one runner amongst my readers - although she's out of state...

Anyway, if you're interested in being part of an Ex-mo, heretical type apostate running team, let me know - and we don't have to advertise the fact that we're ex-mo if that concerns you!

The reason I though about this, was that last year, I ended up on a team with people I didn't know. I had a great experience and gained some lifelong friends, but... Within a half hour of getting together, one of the guys comes over to one of the girls and says with great relief... "It's OK, we're all members in this van!" I think he determined my membership status when he found out I was a missionary.

I didn't have the heart to break the news to him, that I was likely a faithful Mormon's worst nightmare...

Anyway, so that was my weekend...

Oh, and... Mrs Koda and I talked about planning a two to three year extended vacation in New Zealand or Australia... I'll discuss that one more tomorrow though I think.

Thula Mama

2010-09-02T09:37:00.002-06:00

I slept in this morning... The alarm went off, and I hit snooze, and snuggled back up to Mrs Koda, and then it went off again, and I hit snooze and snuggled back up...

The process repeated itself many times over.

When I finally got up, showered and dressed, I went to put my work shoes on, and remembered they were in my backpack downstairs, so I threw on an old pair of running shoes, and headed out, grabbing my backpack en-route.

I've been at work for almost 3 hours now, and I had every intention of changing my shoes... Or perhaps I didn't. I'm still wearing the running shoes and thoroughly enjoying the comfortable feeling they bring.

Not even sure why I share that story... Unless you happen to know me, and am wondering why I'm wondering around in running shoes, but I don't think anyone in my immediate vicinity at work has a clue.

In other news, I was watching a TED video this morning, and a video with the title, "Thula Mama" popped up. It's Zulu and is pronounced Tool-a Ma-Ma. Simply put it means Quiet Mother, or Peace Mother. Mother or Mama being a term used to refer to your biological mother, or any lady who is your senior. I knew a lot of good Mama's while I was a missionary.

Zulu Mama's are the bees knees in my opinion!

This isn't exactly my type of music, but I enjoyed the performance.

Perhaps a Celebration is in Order...

2010-08-31T15:59:00.002-06:00

Do you know what last Sunday was? It was three months since May 30th.

May 30th is very significant to me. Sunday, May 30th, 2010, I skipped sacrament meeting as usual and then went to Church and taught my Sunday School class of 12 and 13 year olds.

The lesson went well.

I ended it by giving each of them a full size candy bar.

The I skipped priesthood, which I've been doing for almost 2 years now, and went home.

At noon I returned to the Church.

I waited outside the Bishop's Office for almost 40 minutes.

Finally he had an opening and invited me in.

He chatted a little about my training and such - fluff really.

And then he asked if I had made a decision about baptizing my daughter.

I've shared this before, but the deal was this... I haven't had a temple recommend in over 2 years. It wasn't a problem when I baptized my son. Beginning in 2009, I exercised my right, not to hand over 10% of my income to a corrupt organization.

Not paying into the coffers seems to be the big problem, although he hid it behind, my not having a recommend.

He wanted me to pay tithing in order to be allowed to baptize my daughter.

It's eerily similar to this and I think borders on extortion as well.

I told him that if I paid, I would compromise my integrity and would thus make myself unworthy to have a recommend anyway. I don't think he got that, because he brought the discussion back to tithing.

I didn't give him anything to work with, even though he tried to dig as much as he could to determine my real concerns.

Finally he asked if he could do anything for me.

I told him that I felt it best that I take a break from the Church for a while.

He gave me a long speech about coming to sacrament to resolve my concerns, and then said that as a favor to me, when the ward talked about me behind my back, he would tell them that he was working with me on my problems. He also said they would only do this because they loved me. I think it was a veiled threat, appealing to a desire to conform which I lost a while ago.

I handed over my manual, told him that my teaching partner was covering the next week, and after shaking his hand, I walked out of the building.

I had to go back in to watch my daughter getting baptized by someone else a few weeks later. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. But aside from that, and a couple of cub scout things, I haven't set foot in the building again.

So it's been 3 months of freedom from Sunday services.

Maybe I'll wait until a full year passes before I throw the party though!

CONTEST!!

2010-08-31T06:10:00.002-06:00

OK Folks, I have a challenge for you.

Glenn Beck has been sharing 'The Truth' with the world, that the inhabitants of the ancient America's where descended from the Israelites.

Since most of his audience have unfortunately lost the portion of their brain which enables them to think things through, they've become accustomed to just accepting what he says as gospel.

I suspect that Glenn may have been called as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and as such is taking very seriously the role of teaching Mormon Doctrine to his viewers.

Back when I was a missionary, we used to teach a series of discussion to people who were interested in Mormonism, or people who were too nice not to let us visit with them.

The first discussion went like this:

God is cool, and lots of people believe in him, and so do we

Jesus is cool and we believe in him as well

God wants to talk to you, but you have to have a prophet to tell you what God wants to tell you

God has a prophet, and one of those prophets was Joseph Smith

Joseph Smith was awesome, because he translated an ancient record. It was the history of the Native Americans

Read it, and then ask God if it's true, and he'll tell you it is. And then we want to come back and ask you to join our Church

Now, they've changed the discussion a little since I went through the training program, and I'm sure in Glenn's case, he's had to adapt them a little to suit his audience. I know I had to when I was teaching someone who's third language was English, and they believed in Ancestor worship.

So this is the approach Glenn is taking...

He started his discussion with a little BRT. I left that out, but it's an acronym for Building Relationships of Trust. You want the people to like you, so you find something common which they believe in, which you can build on... Nice flowers you have, I used to garden before I was a missionary. Those red ones sure are pretty!

In Glenn's case it's fear and hatred of Islam. I must admit he did a phenomenal job.

Then he gave a quick summary of his belief in God and Satan. Don't have to dwell too long on this, since it's likely a sure bet that 99% of his audience is Christian and subscribe to that belief already.

Now the whole prophet and God speaking to us thing... That's a little tricky with Glenn, since he wants the world to follow him. He actually made a comment about people following him, as he led them too the truth. Talk about an ego.

Anyway, so we've covered God, and then Glenn who is somewhat of a Savior to mankind, and also the prophet who will teach us God's will.

(Comment: This is a sarcastic, hyperbolic type post, but I wish I was being more sarcastic than I actually am with that last paragraph.)

Now the problem Glenn faces is that if he refers to the Book of Mormon, he'll probably lose most of his audience... he needs to be subtle.

Nothing was worse to me as a missionary, than whipping out a Book of Mormon, and all of a sudden seeing the terrified look in a person's eyes, as they realized they were being spoken to by 'MORMONS!'

Anyway, but Glenn's smarter than that, and so he frames the next part inside a conspiracy theory, and uses old books to teach that the ancient inhabitants of the America's were in fact Hebrews.

If you'd like to learn more about why this is all a load of crap, I would highly recommend this series of blog posts by an actual archeologist.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

OK, but now the fun part... I have a challenge for you...

Most of Beck's audience are fundamentalist, uber-zealous Christian types. They likely hate Mormons, but make an exception in Glenn's case, since he hates Obama.

What if they realized he was teaching them about Mormonism?

Can you imagine the look on their faces?

I can kind of imagine it, but I want pictures and videos, because that would be SWEET!!!

So the contest is... Find some die hard Glenn Beck fan, get your camera out, and then share with them the real truth, that Glenn is indoctrinating them into Mormonism. I would be happy to provide more info for you, like a copy of the Introduction to the Book of Mormon and quotes from Mormon prophets about the native Americans, or Lamanites.

I'm looking for that look in the eye. The second their brain pops a blood vessel and they realize they've been had.

I'm not sure what prizes I can offer, which brings me to part two...

Anyone want to sponsor this contest with something cool?

Trifecta Shakeup

2010-08-30T10:42:00.002-06:00

OK Folks, I think it's time for a shakup of the Trifecta...

The Hot Dude Trifecta!

So while I still think Channing Tatum is a stud, I think I've developed a bit of a man crush on this fellow...

I showed Mrs Koda this video over the weekend...

She agreed.

In fact, the first words out of her mouth were something to the effect of...

Serve me up a piece of that!!

Welcome!!

2010-08-26T20:10:00.002-06:00

Wow!! It's been a good day in the blogosphere, which is a good thing...

Quick side note... I got a headache at work around 2 this afternoon. I think it's related to the avoidance of caffeine this week, due to a big race on Saturday.

So I took some Ibuprofen... Didn't touch it.

Drove home, squinting into the sun and trying not to cry.

Got home and had two large bowls of rice Chex covered in sugar... Nothing.

Finally I could take it no more and so I grabbed some Tylenol with Codeine, back from when I had the lump removed from my head (My most popular blog post of all time too - aside from my ill-conceived rant about the Utah Horizon Card system)...

Anyway, ended up at back to school night with the kids, and I think it finally went away, but by that time...

I WAS FLYING HIGH!!!

I'm still not totally with it, but like I said, that's all a side story.

Oh and to top it off, I ran into some fellow bloggers as I left... Sorry guys if I seemed a little spacey... My brain was somewhere between Mars and Jupiter... Any Train fans here? Don't you just love the song Drops of Jupiter?

ANYWAY! It seems like I've picked up at least 3 new followers today, a couple of which seem to be new bloggers in Outer Blogness - The internet realm occupied by those who have, or are thinking about leaving Mormonism.

To all I say... WELCOME!!

I try to keep this blog lighter, with the occasional rant about Glenn Beck and politicians who do dumb things.

I have another... The Koda Think Tank. That one deals more with Religion, and especially my personal departure from Mormonism.

P.S. Mrs Koda suggested I tap into my secret stash of Vicodin and wash it down with some Vodka... I'm questioning her judgement, but just for the record... I didn't.

At least not yet!!!

If there are some interesting posts later tonight, you could probably guess why.

Two Tea Parties

2010-08-26T07:16:00.002-06:00

I do kinda like the thinking behind the Tea Party...

The problem is that the Tea Party is actually one name, given to two distinct groups.

The original group and perhaps the smaller, less obnoxious of the two groups consists of people who genuinely believe in freedom, libertarianism, and a form of capitalism which attempts to remove corruption from the system we now have.

In many ways I agree with these folks, and where I don't agree, I can definitely understand their rationale.

The second group are the loud obnoxious freaks who worship Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck. These people are not Libertarians, and the only parts of the Constitution they care about are the parts that help them suppress the rights and beliefs of others.

The tricky part is trying to determine which group you're talking to, because both claim to support the Constitution and both claim to be patriots.

FOLKS! I have the million dollar question which will help you determine which is which...

"So, how do you feel about the Cordoba Mosque going up in New York?"

If they freak out about it and start whining about sensitivity and Islamofascism, you can be 100% certain your speaking to a hypocritical sheep from group number 2.

Why you may ask....

I'll let Mr. Ron Paul explain here. I still maintain a Presidency consisting of Mr. Paul and President Obama could bring to pass some excellent change in America. The may seem to be polar opposites, but they're both reasonable men, with a sound understanding of their positions, and both are very articulate. I think some great compromises could be worked out.

In other news... Has Glenn Beck been called as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

I'll elaborate more in a day or two, but wouldn't it be an absolute riot to watch the faces of all of his fundamentalist Christian fans, if he were to give them the first Mormon Missionary discussion on his TV show, and then they were to find out about it after the fact?!?

Perfect Combinations

2010-08-23T08:19:00.002-06:00

Every so often 2 artist from different genres will combine to create something new, unique and oft times... AWESOME.

So it is with Love The Way You Lie by Eminem and Rihanna

I'm thinking that I may need to find a way to justify purchasing Mr. Mathers new album.

And speaking of perfect combinations... Pearl Jam and Cypress Hill did a great one a decade and a half ago.

On Dancing

2010-08-23T06:58:00.001-06:00

An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon to clear his parched throat. He walked up and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun
in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?"

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet.

The old prospector --not wanting to get a toe blown off-- started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.
When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers.

The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately.

The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly.

The silence was almost deafening.

The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels. The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever licked a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir..... but... I've always wanted to."

There are a few lessons for us all here:

Never be arrogant.
Don't waste ammunition.
Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
Don't mess with old men, they didn't get old by being stupid.

Inner Conflict

2010-08-19T10:34:00.001-06:00

Glenn Beck is a Freaking Genius!!

2010-08-18T07:45:00.002-06:00

I'm going to include a clip from Monday nights edition of The Daily Show with Mr. John Stewart. There is a lot of really good stuff in this clip...

First there is the number one reason I think Obama might lose his bid at re-election. He's trying to cater to both his supporters and his critics and in so doing, pissing both sides off. Mr. President, if you happen to read this, please just stick to your guns and do the right things. Nothing you can say, can or will please any of the narrow-minded idiots on the right side of the aisle. They're upset you're in power, and that you're both black and a Democrat. Unless you can bleach your skin, switch political parties, produce video of your birth in a New York hospital, start a war in at least 3 middle Islamic countries, further destroy our economy by giving increased tax breaks to the rich, and then giving Sean Hannity a blowjob, I don't think you could ever please them, and even then, success would be doubtful.

Next he shows the complete hypocrisy of the pseudo news station which is Fox News. And in so stating that, I should point out... The Daily Show is a comedy show, not a news show, but despite that key difference... Mr. Stewart and his crew are actually consistent with how they cover events.

And finally, he engages the comedic genius of Mr. John Oliver for a fun look at political correctness and religion. The playground and the cathedral comment was perhaps the highlight of this exchange.

But in the midst of all of that, he showed two clips of Glenn Beck. Now here's where I struggle a little. I used to be a HUUUUUGE Glenn Beck fan, even after I started leaning left, and then all of a sudden I just couldn't stand him any more. For a while now, I've been wondering why it was that I experienced such an extreme shift in my feelings and thoughts. However as I watched the two clips shown of Mr. Beck, I realized that it wasn't necessarily me that changed.

I've heard bits and pieces of this theory before, but it wasn't until laying in bed last night that it hit me... Glenn Beck is a Genius!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show Full Episodes

Political Humor

Tea Party

Let me explain...

The Glenn I used to like... He's the guy in the second clip. The one wearing jeans and with his tie loosened. He's also not wearing glasses, and I think each of those things are significant here.

I didn't have to agree with Mr. Beck to appreciate his arguments, because he actually made arguments and backed them up. He wasn't stuck following a set agenda and was willing to investigate and question things.

I liked that Glenn.

But he's transformed himself, and that is where the genius comes in.

Pause for a second, and lets look at Mormonism, to which Mr. Beck converted several years ago. Here is a religion, which in exchange for eternal salvation (or at least the illusion of it), can get it's followers to give up:

10% of their gross income
Additional donations in offerings and charitable support
Underwear choice
Freedom of choice
Significant portions of time every week.

The religion controls most of it's followers political thinking, and gets them to live a strict health code - although the "health" portion is debatable, especially when you look at the considerable girth of some of the more faithful. I've heard it rationalized that it's not so much about health as it is about obedience, but I think that only makes my point further.

I think Mr. Beck has realized the key behind Mormonism, and is using it to promote his career.

Let's go back to the clothing... When I like Mr. Beck he was pretty casual. See the jeans and no glasses comment above. He used to be one of the people, the everyday guys who was on your side.

Now it's suits, ties and glasses. It conveys an air of professionalism, as though he knows more than you do... And if you listen to him, he thinks he does. Mormon leaders are the same... You will never see a Mormon leader, especially not the high up ones in anything other than a dark suit, white shirt and conservative tie.

FEAR

The biggest secret to the success of Mormonism is fear. Fear that you'll lose your family, fear that people in your community will think less of you, fear that your going to be attacked for your beliefs and fear that when you do, you won't have the courage to defend your beliefs.

Glenn lives and breathes fear into the hearts of his audience.

President Obama isn't a man with a socially progressive approach to politics... Far from it, he's an evil, socialist, nazi, who wants to kill old people and abort as many babies as he can. He's not going to be happy until we're all communist slaves, with no freedom, and we're forced to live Sharia law.

OK, that might be a slight exaggeration, and then again, it may not be that far off...

Gotta hand it to the guy though... It's worked phenomenally well for him. His followers are devout and in general can be counted on to use Beck's own words in defense of their positions. You cannot discuss controversial things with a Glenn Beck fan, just as you cannot discuss controversial things with a Mormon, and if you start making sense to them... You become the enemy, someone to be shunned and hated.

I can always tell when I have one on the line, because they manage to include socialism, communism, fascism, the constitution, God and how much the love their country, all in the same sentence.

But back to the topic of this post... Mr. Beck... Sheer Genius... If only he could use his mental capacity for the common good, instead of to promote hate and fear.

I can honestly say I miss the guy who used to host the Glenn Beck show.

AWESOMENESS!!!

2010-08-17T10:25:00.001-06:00

Check this out... I'm not sure how to deal with the friction aspects of this project, but I'm sure these guys have some ideas!

Suckage!

2010-08-16T15:29:00.002-06:00

So I just heard back from my lending institution... Apparently they've known since last Wednesday, but have been too chicken to call... It took some prompting from me...

BASTARDS!

Anyway, so we thought our home had probably lost about $30k since we purchased it a little less than three years ago...

We weren't happy about it, but everyone is hurting, so we're all kind of in the same boat.

Anyway, after some prodding, the guy finally called me back. I sensed it would be bad news simply because of that...

Turns out that our home got appraised for less than 80% of what we paid for it. And we worked with the appraiser when we bought it to get that initial value as low as possible.

OUCH!!

That also means that I think we're officially upside down in our home as well.

I joked to the banker about walking away and letting the bank take the hit.

I don't think he was amused.

On the plus side... I can now use this to contest my property taxes!

Huge Loss....

2010-08-16T10:25:00.002-06:00

So I posted a link on Facebook this morning...

It was to this

It's basically an article by The Rev. Dr. Michael Kinnamon for the National Council on Churches USA Chapter, addressing the issue of the mosque which is being proposed for construction near the site of the 9/11 Trade Center Attacks.

Despite not being religious anymore, I really like Dr. Kinnamon's approach.

Less than 10 minutes after posting the link, I was down 1 friend on Facebook.

I can't figure out who the friend was, so obviously it's not a big loss, and to be completely honest, if that offended them, I'm not sure I really want them on my friends list anyway.

There is a douche-bag politician in Utah, who made a comment some time back about how the Gays are the greatest threat to America. He now claims he was tricked into making that comment, because one of the camera men was wearing a BYU shirt... Perhaps he was worried it was a task force from the LDS Church gestapo like, Strengthening Church Members Committee :-)

Anyway, I've been thinking about it, and I'd like to state for the record, that I think there is another group which is the greatest danger to the USA and it is an actual threat.

I think the greatest danger to the world is members of any religion who take a fundamentalist approach to it.

The greatest threat to the United States is fundamentalist Christians.

Hey folks... Christianity has had it's shot at running things, and it was one of the prime reasons why people fled England to seek out a better life here.

On Anonymous Comments

2010-08-13T05:36:00.000-06:00

If you have a blog and you've been the recipient of anonymous comments - as have I - I think you'll find this true.

It was a tweet by Andy Borowitz

Anonymous blog comments are the Internet's version of flaming bags of shit left on a doorstep.

Hey Santa Claus!

2010-08-12T08:04:00.002-06:00

So you know how I had a wee technical issue at work a few weeks back, and ended up playing Jane Fonda for all to hear? Well it turns out that no-one really heard it, fortunately, but I was reminded of a similar incident I had as a kid.

Before I get to it... Sorry the posts have been scarce this last week. I had a pretty grueling race weekend, and that combined with lack of sleep, stress from numerous sources and other crap has left me pretty wiped out.

And then also... The language used in the following clip is most certainly NSFW (Not Safe for Work). Actually if we're being honest, it's not really safe for anyone with sensitive ears.

The artist is an Australian gentleman by the name of Kevin Bloody Wilson.

So there I was, probably about 15 or 16, and a friend at school had given me a tape to borrow. I forget what the first album was on the tape, but I do recall having it in the family stereo, and cranked up loud enough that I could hear it outside.

I'd heard about the Santa Claus song by Mr. Wilson in the past, and I do recall that my friend had mentioned that he'd grabbed some of Mr. Wilson's music. Anyway, so I recall, walking out of our garage and hearing a melody, and hearing... "Hey Santa Clause you....".

That was when I realized what it was. I sprinted like nothing else to turn it off...

I don't know how long it had been on, or how many members of my family had heard it.

I suspect that had anyone heard it, I would have been given a stern talking to, but who knows.

Anyway, with the NSFW warning in mind, here's Mr. Wilson...

2 Ladies

2010-08-05T09:10:00.002-06:00

Today is an interesting day... It started yesterday actually, when I found out about Prop 8 being overturned, and if I may say...

HELL FREAKIN' YEAH!!

The thing is though, as soon as the facebook notes went up about it, the usual crap from the so-called Christians started. I commented on a post or two, and even considered putting something up on my Facebook page. On one hand I want to make sure I stand by what is right, but on the other hand, I'm learning that you just can't have a rational discussion about an issue with people who have no rational reason for believing as they do, and quite honestly, I'm getting really sick of hearing Mormons express their love for their gay brothers and sisters, and then start bitching about how they don't want the gay lifestyle shoved in their faces.

On that note, perhaps a few words of advice...

1 - If you're a Mormon, and you're going to bitch about having someone else's lifestyle or beliefs shoved in your face... It may be a good idea to quit doing the same thing. Thinking you're right, doesn't necessarily make it so!

2 - If you're a Mormon, and you're going to whine about Muslims who want to build a mosque some place (I had this conversation on Tuesday with someone), please understand that by so doing, you should probably also give up bitching about communities who protest temples.

3 - If you're going to go back to the argument (Like the LDS PR folks did) about how the popular vote has already declared Prop 8 to be law... How about we have a national vote on whether you guys should be allowed to keep your tax-exempt status and yet refuse to divulge your finances, or how about a national vote on whether you should be allowed to go door to door pissing the rest of the country off. If that did happen, I suspect you'd be crying about the Constitution and your rights louder than any of the LGBT organizations.

Moving on... Today the residence of the Koda family is going to receive a visit from an appraiser. It's a bit of a gamble we're taking to try and reduce our monthly living expenses, because we're just not making it.

We're going to find out just how badly we got screwed by the economic crash, and hopefully discover, it wasn't enough to prevent a refinancing of our mortgage.

It could go either way... If it doesn't appraise for as much as we need it to, well, we'll be out $400 and have to find other ways to try and make it through.

If it does, we'll get a small infusion of cash now, but it could end up costing us an additional couple of thousand over the life of our loan. Of course on the plus side, we'll be getting a RIDICULOUSLY low interest rate, and so it may actually work out for the best.

So, with nerves on edge - Oh - and I'm doing the BAD ASS series of races in Midway this weekend... I figured today's post needed to be light...

I KNOW! TOO LATE!

So these two ladies die and go to Heaven.

(I know I'm an Atheist, but this is a joke, and it doesn't work without heaven. Actually if we're being honest, when you review the subject matter, perhaps heaven isn't the place they should be, but anyway....)

1st woman: Hi! Wanda.

2nd woman: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?

1st woman: I froze to death.

2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.

The Piggies

2010-08-04T08:43:00.003-06:00

This is a 'cute' post. My apologies to all my more masculine readers.

My daughter purchased a guinea pig for her birthday this year, and in an effort to avoid having the little rodent get lonely, Mrs. Koda purchased one at the same time. My daughters pet is still hovering with respect to names. Some days she's Little Miss Speedy, and others it's Hannabelle. Mrs. Koda's pig is named Miss Bennett.

Miss Bennett ended up being the more dominant of the two, and was largely responsible for us having to purchase two cages. She is also the more friendlier of the two - far less skittish and very curious.

I'm working from home today, and one of the little Koda's brought Miss Bennett over to the table where I am working. She took a while to adjust to me, the laptop and the table, but after a few minutes, she's managed to get on the keyboard and open an additional 20-30 help windows in my browser.

I pushed her off to the side, and all of a sudden, she mellowed right out. Her amble belly seemed to sink and spread out on the table, and it almost looked like she might be going to sleep. I ignored her for a while, but it seemed a little unlike her... And that's when I realized...

There is an air vent on the side of the laptop and it gently blows out nice warm air from the processor -> right where Miss Bennett was sitting.

Gay LDS Leadership?

2010-08-02T06:37:00.002-06:00

I'm not going to accuse LDS Leadership of anything, since I don't really think this is something which is an accusing type thing. It's just kind of sad that the men who could do something about the environment which prevents people from becoming who they really are, are under siege from themselves.

Below is an abstract from a study conducted at the University of Georgia.

Full Study Here

The authors investigated the role of homosexual arousal in exclusively heterosexual men who admitted negative affect toward homosexual individuals. Participants consisted of a group of homophobic men (n = 35) and a group of nonhomophobic men (n = 29); they were assigned to groups on the basis of their scores on the Index of Homophobia (W. W. Hudson & W. A. Ricketts, 1980). The men were exposed to sexually explicit erotic stimuli consisting of heterosexual, male homosexual, and lesbian videotapes, and changes in penile circumference were monitored. They also completed an Aggression Questionnaire (A. H. Buss & M. Perry, 1992). Both groups exhibited increases in penile circumference to the heterosexual and female homosexual videos. Only the homophobic men showed an increase in penile erection to male homosexual stimuli. The groups did not differ in aggression. Homophobia is apparently associated with homosexual arousal that the homophobic individual is either unaware of or denies.

And Now for Somthing Really Offensive!

2010-07-29T06:08:00.002-06:00

So I had this thought while I was swimming yesterday. Swimming is a great way to think. The only thing better I've found is trail running, but that's because if you lose focus on your breathing when you're trail running, you don't choke yourself of chlorine and likely urine enriched water.

Now, just to warn you all... This is going to offend people who lean right. You can get offended and offer an opposing view in the comments, but please don't start bitching and whining about stereotypes and then progressing toward bad language when I ask you to back up your opinion. Since this is my blog, my opinion rules, and the burden of proof rests upon you... Or something like that...

So I work with a guy, who likes to refer to himself as a free market capitalist. He's a nice enough guy, and I think if I needed help, he would likely be willing.

I've seen him make some big purchases lately, and I've noticed something... All that matters to him is price and value.

Now I'm not exactly unlike that. I like getting value for my money as much as the next guy, but I will differ from him slightly if there are extenuating circumstances...

If I want to purchase a product and I find out that along with the best value for money, my product is also responsible for child labor in China, or helps fund war efforts in Africa, I will make it a point to go somewhere else or go without.

I fully suspect that my co-worker will ignore these details because to him there are irrelevant. He believes the market should speak for himself, and as far as any resultant moral responsibility, that probably belongs to those who are first in line perpetrating the crimes.

Now I don't know this for sure, but my interactions with him lead me to believe that this is the case. As further evidence, I cite myself, a former free market capitalist and a person who would likely have done the same thing.

So where do capitalist and the rest of us differ? I don't think socialist, liberals, communists, or any other group would like to deprive themselves, and if we could better our situation I think all of us would.

I think the difference lie in the moral expense of our decisions and this is where I'm going to make the generalization.

In general, most capitalists worry only about the sticker price, return on investment and cost to them when considering a purchase or other financial based decision.

I suspect the rest of us, if aware of extenuating circumstances would like consider the other costs as well - moral, environmental and all of that.

I think it ties in with the post I did a few weeks back regarding a certain Conservative Christians opinion that God put us here to rape the earth. I think many of the Free Market Capitalist folks are likely the Conservative Christian types as well, and they've been endowed with an incredible sense of entitlement, and as long as I get what I want, screw the rest of the planet...

Now, they won't admit that, and they'll likely cite their God, Jesus of Nazareth in their defense - plus they give all that money to their Church, and that's charity because it says so on their tax forms. But the funny thing is that Jesus wasn't a Capitalist, in fact, I suspect Jesus would have been an almost pure democratic socialist these days.

On Being an Offensive Pratt!

2010-07-28T09:58:00.002-06:00

I had a thought for a blog post this morning. It's something I've observed and is one of those thoughts where I generalize and would likely get a lot of nasty blog comments from my right leaning readers - assuming I still have any!

But I've decided to postpone the sharing of the aforementioned offensive and generalized observation in lieu of something which I think is better.

Some weeks or perhaps months ago, my good friend from the land of Oz, Ms. Morgan Mouse, retweeted something hilarious by a guy called Mark Morford. I don't know much about Mr. Morford, but having followed him since that time, he would appear to be a columnist with similar leanings to myself and a gift for making witty comments on occasion.

So, first and foremost... Thanks Ms. Mouse turning me on to a good resource.

This morning, Mr. Morford tweeted a link to an article he has written called, 10 amazing truths you already suspected (Volume 5). They're all good points, but I would like to focus solely on the first...

Actually I think his words do a better job than mine, so without further ado, here's item #1 on the 10 amazing truths list:

I know what you're thinking: In these times of acrimony and divisiveness, is it still possible to find peaceful consensus? Can any group of educated individuals ever agree on anything worthwhile, besides Blue Bottle Coffee, the Fiat 500 and grilled sausages in summertime?

Good news: They totally can! Watch in awe as every one of the country's 238 respected presidential scholars recently agreed, without the slightest doubt or hesitation and despite all their varying backgrounds, ages, political affiliations, heights and weights and hairstyles, that George W. Bush really is the worst president in modern history, and the 5th worst of all time. Wonders!

I've been tempted to post the link to the study on Facebook too, but I have too many idiot friends over there who think the sun still shines out of Bush's ass and that Palin should be the next president. I just don't want to hear their lousy refudiations of it.

Happy Birthday!

2010-07-28T06:52:00.002-06:00

Since I have neither the body, nor the voice to pull something like that off...

I just added my name to a birthday card that the Obamas are giving the President for his 49th birthday on Wednesday, August 4th.

Can you join me?

It’s a great way to help make it a memorable birthday for him, and to show we’re ready to stand alongside him, fighting for change in the year ahead.

http://my.barackobama.com/barackbirthday-inv

Thanks,

Urban Koda

It had to be this song...

2010-07-27T06:34:00.001-06:00

Occasionally I'll listen to music at work. I work in a cubicle, so to avoid annoying, or worse, offending my co-workers, I have a nice set of headphones I plug in, and off I go.

As an additional piece of information to setup for this story... I was listening to the radio on the way to work this morning, and the last song was one I hadn't heard before. Turns out it was "Don't Trust Me" by 3OH!3. The lyric which caught my attention was "Do the Helen Keller, and talk with your hips."

It kind of reminded another song. Jane Fonda by Mickey Avalon.

Anyway, so that song - the Jane Fonda one has kind of been on my mind today. I got my computer all logged in early today, got the headphones plugged in and I was good to go. The sounds quality has been kind of iffy all day, although since I didn't have my headphones on much it didn't seem like a big deal.

Then I went running over lunch, got back, finally dried off, and settled in for some solid code debugging. I figured it was time to crank the tunes up. Found the Jane Fonda song on YouTube - Not the clean version either and proceeded to listen.

About 2 minutes into the song, I feel a tap on my shoulder, and my co-worker informs me that she can hear my music.

It turns out that the headphone plug didn't fully engage this morning. Which explains the lousy sound quality among other things.

Unfortunately 2 minutes into the song is enough time for the following gem to broadcast to all my co-workers...

"If you were lucky, licky, licky, sucky, sucky. Mickey, Mickey, F*ck me, F*ck me."

That's just one groovy line, amongst a whole host of others.

I was sweating prior to being told that my speakers were blaring the soulful lyrics of Mickey Avalon, but this little discovery upped the amount of sweat quite considerably!!

DOOOOOH!

Hot Out?

2010-07-26T10:43:00.000-06:00

Smelling the Roses

2010-07-22T10:42:00.001-06:00

I've been a little scarce of late. Don't worry, I'll be back soon, I'm just taking a while to smell the roses. We've been trying a couple new things of late.

One of them is that we've started eating dinner together as a family every night - and not just that, but we've been doing it at the table as well. Our oldest son calls it 'Fancy Dinner'. They all seem to like it, so I think we'll keep it going.

Other than that, things in the Koda household are going as well as can be expected with 5 kids.

I'll be back soon!

Avoidance

2010-07-15T07:47:00.002-06:00

I've been trying to avoid morning meetings over the past week or so, and I'm likely to do so for the next couple of weeks too.

You see Le Tour is on, and since I don't have Versus included in my satellite subscription, I need to watch it online, and since it's in France, it's on while I'm at work in the mornings.

Now, don't worry, I'm still working, I just have the audio on in my headphones and the small video up on the corner of my screen.

Aside from the racing, I like watching some of the great French scenery, and some of the stuff which the fans do.

I snagged this screen shot this morning. It was put together by a group of farmers and featured a high power hose coming out of the wine bottle.

AWESOMENESS!!!

Stress

2010-07-13T06:21:00.002-06:00

"Stress is caused by being 'here' but wanting to be 'there.'"

~Eckhart Tolle

Ain't that the truth!

An Apology

2010-07-12T08:39:00.002-06:00

Found the video below over on Swearing Elders.

Now in my defense... I hated door knocking, and I would generally do anything I could to avoid it. When I was compelled to however, as soon as I could tell the person wasn't interested, I would back right down. I also don't know if I ever engaged in door-knocking or tracting before noon.

Since there is no way to go back and apologize to anyone I annoyed by knocking on their door - unless of course I head back overseas and knock on their doors as well, I thought instead that I would issue a global apology.

If Umfundisi Koda ever knocked on your door... I humbly apologize for the intrusion into your lives.